age –

simply defined;

a collection of years,

or perhaps –

seasons.

society puts up fences –

youth here,

old age there,

either, or…

i find my place neither

in, nor out –

and so i sit upon the fence –

dangling my feet,

and my heart,

in both pastures.

could have been

sits in the dark –

alone –

quiet –

useless as cant,

unnecessary as – should…

is –

however –

flaunts itself as if the only actor on stage;

omnipotent,

supreme!

leaves me,

lonely –

shackled by – myself,

struggling to carry this weight of – why…

i long to be – to you –

all that you have become –

to me…

that first sliver of sun at dawn,

or the twinkle of twilight’s

first star…

if only i could fill your world with wonderful,

exceptional –

smother you with fantastic,

awesomely – amazing…

if even for one solitary second

i could be

that which flows through your veins –

fills your heart –

gives you life.

how great the rush.

to be considered something so essential –

so necessary!

as much as air –

as incidental as day –

i long to be the impulse for your smile,

casual sigh,

the beat your heart skips…

everything to –

you –

to me –

you are…

what do i do

with all these thoughts of you,

trapped in my head –

like a fly in the spider’s web…

like the moth drawn to the flame,

i push against the pull –

but the effort –

all in vain…

submersed in thoughts of you,

i waste away –

no struggle against the drowning –

will,

washed away.

no need to throw a rope of hope –

i chose to lose my way…