thawing

working through the pain that has become my life.

stepping carefully on the thin ice of truth,

fragile –

cold.

so hard to strip away the shell –

layer upon layer,

so hard to face the lies –

confront the fears.

alone –

i stand – vulnerable, insecure,

afraid.

alone –

i fall upon myself – weak,

unable to face the reality of –

honesty!

suddenly you appear – strength –

holding in your hand –

a single – match.

what will you do with all the power?

confused –

anxious –

i watch you start the fire –

feel the heat –

feel the ice melting…

exposed –

unrestrained –

i give away all doubt –

throw caution to the very wind that feeds the flame…

i let my life melt into yours –

forgetting all the pain –

all the burns and scars of hurt –

     you cover me

     a desert –

     for the first time –

     feeling rain!

requiem for had. (is from – could-be.)

is –

does not understand,

could –

(possibility – not yet defined?).

inside the paradigms of his reality,

now is real!

(if you have now, was – no longer matters)…

how odd –

to be,

yesterday…

quite full of what was,

and what mattered,

and even – what if,

but never as necessary,

nor as current,

as – what is!

sad,

don’t you think?

requiems for want,

not yet realized-

but not one single tear for – had?

(how quickly we forget)…