of water-colors and rain

unable to feel –

fulfilled.

unable to –

feel…

precariously balanced between what – is,

and what could be.

clinging to the threads of hope,

praying for – recompense!

where did it go –

my reason?

I held it – oh so tight –

but my footing failed,

and I slid much too quickly,

into unsure –

vast sea,

unmeasured depth,

of doubt…

how rudiment –

the concept –

what is – is,

yet what can be –

most often,

is not…

my prayer –

today;

if I’m asleep,

this life – a dream –

please wake me!

for there are things more frightening

than tigers,

and bears…

oh – how easily your smile succumbs to my pain –

water-color compassion,

left ,

so conveniently,

out in the rain…

further along the journey

once upon a – not so long ago;

before the now, was then.

soon after that first,

hello…

(Eden – well,

at least some acceptable facsimile),

there was a you,

i knew –

and a me you,

although – reluctantly, allowed admittance…

why is it – in the light –

all demons – disappear?

aren’t they – by nature – invincible?

if can’t is not allowed to become is,

what then?

this timid soul does not posses the strength to slay

even the most subtle dragon,

and nowhere in the manual of supposition

is there an option – to just – be!

indignant –

of you to assume!

your judgment falls like hail upon the road –

undisclosed to one –

further along the journey!

so softly the summer rain falls (for Todd)

my is –

interrupted –

fades into the vastness of was.

replaced,

perhaps,

be it ever so briefly,

by yet another is…

when yesterday was today,

surreptitiously culled from could be,

to become,

you and that version-of-the-day me,

did interact.

now I find your is – no more.

and realizing my inability to continue my journey with you,

into your was,

makes me pause…

how apropos – on such a day as this;

Hummingbirds and Seraphim’s!

and as your you ascends from the tomb of could not,

the universe itself is moved to tears –

so softly the summer rain falls…

when you wish upon a (fallen) star…

out beyond the break of the hill,

past the weeping-willows,

there lies a small mound of dirt.

i remember that hill from my childhood,

picture-perfect reflections from youth,

still embedded in my mind.

i used to go there to find myself,

taking only the shell of a boy,

returning full,

overflowing in prepubescent omnipotence!

now i go there only in my dreams.

visit the hillside.

try to find the tranquility,

the simplicity,

the sheer exuberance of childhood.

if only for a moment,

i could stand again beneath the starry sky of youth.

or sit upon the damp ground with folded legs,

knees in hands,

contemplating – nothing!

i would die to be reborn,

to be that innocent,

that benign!

gregarious – assiduous – raisonde’tre; You…

incidentally –

you,

reconstruct the broken –

remand the lies, to truth…

effortless as –

breathe,

yet more required!

tangible –

yet restrained.

unassumingly – understanding…

how is it –

there can be – debate,

supposition,

disbelief,

in the plausibility of my need,

for your existence?

unobtrusive as dawn,

you force the darkness into light.

eliminate – might.

replace – could-be – with is!

captive,

am i –

paralyzed by your compassion.

in awe –

of your most enigmatic –

consideration!

this amazing life

this moment –

borrowed,

short –

precious…

it hangs on – briefly;

a breath held in anticipation –

skipped beat of a heart –

first baby’s cry…

awesome – don’t you think –

this journey called life?

it seems so many times –

we get caught up in the – want –

involved in expectation;

preoccupied with – when –

so much that we miss out on the – now…

my – is –

this – moment;

all i need,

and all i’m guaranteed –

you may choose another agenda –

fill your days,

your – moments –

with – what if…

but -i,

i choose – acceptance,

gratitude,

appreciation –

each breath –

each moment –

sweet gift of life –

amazing!