dangling –

here –

mere inches from release,

terrified to lose control!

pondering –

the forward,

and reverse –

confused,

unsure…

what if i take the step –

will my footing hold?

the edge is much too close,

and i am yet afraid…

that nothing will replace

the insignificance i have become,

and i’ll fall –

headlong –

into less than –

something.

un-missed,

a stone thrown in the pond –

so small –

no sound,

no tell-tale –

ripples!

solitude –

precursor to loneliness.

disassociation of self –

from soul.

plunged head first –

into this desolation…

where do you turn to find

acceptance –

what price – the need?

compassion comes,

but not without cost.

smiles –

transparent,

masking pain –

unrealized.

abandon –

cruel nemesis to faith,

prevails –

hurt sustains!

shackled by the awesomeness of you –

i stand in shadow –

waiting for the lightening crash,

the thunder roll,

the storm – inevitable – to pass…

there is no – just because –

with you,

no almost –

no doubt!

you oh so effortlessly over-fill the cup,

sweep the refuse from the waste

of – nearly –

aside.

walk right up to indecision –

unafraid –

un-denied!

if i could have one wish –

one dream come true –

to be as much as even half of you –

to run through fields of confidence,

toss chaos to the wind,

open – with purpose –

the pages of life –

release the doubt,

the fear of – not enough!

for just one day –

to be the – axis,

not merely the passenger –

the reason,

no longer – just the after thought…

wanting more than less –

needing more than have –

i find my life in shadow,

standing still…

consumed by doubt –

entombed within the walls of disbelief –

i feel the madness creep

into my living,

forcing me to contemplate my fate.

do i seek refuge here

in dying’s harbor?

commit to nothing –

become un-done?

how simple then,

the letting go –

no need –

for need,

no longing –

to belong…

so sweet the peace that

must come with the passing.

so great the un-weight,

un-encumbered –

un-entwined –

the soul,

aged captive –

finally free…

pensive –

hypocritically – contrite –

you stand alone,

a bastion of solitude in a sea of outstretched hands…

demure in your self-proclaimed in-culpability.

astonishingly – obtuse.

devoid of even a trace of empathy,

i watch as you bask in your

self-righteous piety –

seemingly unaware of the absurdity –

oblivious of your own flagrant nonentity!

this moment –

borrowed,

short –

precious…

it hangs on – briefly;

a breath held in anticipation –

skipped beat of a heart –

first babies cry…

awesome – don’t you think –

this journey called life?

it seems so many times –

we get caught up in the – want –

involved in expectation;

preoccupied with – when –

so much that we miss out on the – now…

my – is –

this – moment;

all i need,

and all i’m guaranteed –

you may choose another agenda –

fill your days,

your – moments –

with – what if…

but -i,

i choose – acceptance,

gratitude,

appreciation –

each breath –

each moment –

sweet gift of life –

amazing!

the place we sometimes journey to –

is much too dark to stay,

too far away for words,

more deep than sound –

profound as black on white,

or even still,

the very absence of light…

attempting once again to feel,

we dive head first into the –

nothing,

to somehow feel the splash –

of something…

as delicate as if,

more frail than why –

the sanity we seek to find,

evasive –

hides behind the clouds,

that clutter the skyline of our mind!