dangling –

here –

mere inches from release,

terrified to lose control!

pondering –

the forward,

and reverse –

confused,

unsure…

what if i take the step –

will my footing hold?

the edge is much too close,

and i am yet afraid…

that nothing will replace

the insignificance i have become

and i’ll fall –

headlong –

into less than –

something –

un-missed,

a stone thrown in the pond –

so small –

no sound,

no tell-tale –

ripples!

incidentally –

you,

reconstruct the broken –

remand the lies, to truth…

effortless as –

breathe,

yet more required!

tangible –

yet restrained.

unassumingly – understanding…

how is it –

there can be – debate,

supposition,

disbelief,

in the plausibility of my need for your existence?

unobtrusive as dawn,

you force the darkness into light.

eliminate – might.

replace – could-be – with is!

captive,

am i –

paralyzed by your compassion.

in awe –

of your most enigmatic –

consideration!

wanting more than less –

needing more than have –

i find my life in shadow,

standing still…

consumed by doubt –

entombed within the walls of disbelief –

i feel the madness creep

into my living,

forcing me to contemplate my fate.

do i seek refuge here

in dying’s harbor?

commit to nothing –

become un-done?

how simple then,

the letting go –

no need –

for need,

no longing –

to belong…

so sweet the peace that

must come with the passing.

so great the un-weight,

un-encumbered –

un-entwined –

the soul,

aged captive –

finally free…

there are some things –

          superficial –

          easily seen by –

          everyone –

               anyone!

those things characterize,

          silhouette by

          shape,

               by sound.

deeper though –

          seen scantly,

          like constellations through broken clouds –

          there are those more personal things.

like pearls –

          we search,

          and probe –

          picking over –

          breaking down –

          looking desperately for that great prize –

          and in the search –

          missing out on the most precious jewels.

cast away –

          like broken shells –

          we clutter the beaches of life !

you hide behind your – suppose –

as if it were a shroud,

seemingly unaware of the audacity –

imposed by your flagrant transparency…

how awkward –

meeting here like this –

exposing all my is,

to find it wasted effort to your – presume!

when did the lines become so blurred?

boundaries,

redefined?

we used to travel the same path –

shared the same – once upon a time…

dangling now –

contemplating the letting go –

while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.

surely there is no sadness more intense

than dying –

without death!

entangled in

my now –

entwined within

my what-will-be,

you…

an anchor fastened to my heart –

essential as even –

air.

what was life before

you –

who drew the line between indifferent –

and necessary?

was there sunlight –

or did the night – so nonchalant

just close his eyes –

allowing day?

i cherish moments

filled with oh-so-much of you,

grateful –

yet undeserving…

i see you there –

in the shadowy twilight of my used to be –

safe,

a memory tucked away for a rainy day…

i used to think the world revolved around you –

stars,

you made –

sun, only from your smile…

i often found myself absorbed within the all of you –

eyes,

dark as midnight –

doorway to the temple of your soul –

but me,

being me,

never found the courage for the journey –

and you,

being you,

never offered safe passage…

why is it –

now – redefined –

i find the feelings turned from awe –

to anguish?

how can i blame the dawn –

for day?

the moon –

for night?

your creation was not conceived for my salvation –

your hands much too large to hold the tininess of me!