un-found –

not lost –

the difference in the

absence of belonging… 

longing for –

that which you cannot have –

smile returned,

touch received,

void filled… 

alone –

i was –

before i thought you found me,

long before i dreamed you –

cared,

believed… 

how easy to release –

it seems,

regardless how far the fall –

not even the absence of a net deters the craving… 

this lonely life – spent in the shadows,

eyes open,

scanning the horizon –

knees bent –

prayers sent –

all in vain! 

your footsteps echo down the corridor,

long passageway of lonely –

leading you away – 

from me –

all things good un-gravitate –

un-attach – 

leave me –

undefined,

un-entwined with life… 

need –

grasping at threads of hope –

a breeze merely blows away…

words unsaid –

touch un-felt –

promises, not made –

unbroken…

just how deep is too deep –

how real?

too real?

what is the penalty for touch –

instead of feel?

deep the water from your shore –

dark reservoir of intrigue –

and that safe room – behind your eyes –

illusive as – seems…

i would give a thousand – knows,

a million – haves –

for just one moment of your time –

(to understand, not assume)

dreams – i weave –

realities – i conceive –

engulfed within the enigma of you…

ethereal –

you are to me –

miles from ordinary!

feelings placed on hold –

access –

denied.

what do you do when

doors are closed –

no goodbyes?

longing eats a hole

in sanity’s – reality –

words cannot be – unsaid,

feelings – un-felt…

regret –

an evil unparalleled –

compounded by cruel rejection…

the tender heart lies broken,

compassion lost –

abandon feels like midnight dark,

dying all alone…

beneath it all –

even below the ever  growing pile of discontent…

layered,

ever so patiently –

my defense.

(scar-tissue effect)…

time passes;

and just as quickly as a borrowed breath – returned,

this now,

becomes our was…

what of it,

then?

false hope clinging in vain to should?

if we are less than everything allowed,

why – be – at all?

oh!

i suppose there could be desire to rise above,

but even birds with broken wings

never forget how it feels to fly…

i cling to you like – spider webs –

you brush away!

i wrap myself inside your thoughts,

submerge myself within your silent eyes –

yet you don’t – see me,

don’t even – feel me…

how is it – my precious friend –

your life can be so – full,

so closed?

i take just so little room –

a hurried breath,

or thought,

or maybe just a simple – sigh!

please make some room for this scared dream –

or else – i die!

ice is forming –

on the windows –

now.

i hear the whistle of the wind –

its song,

so sad!

everywhere –

in cold secluded –

silence.

every-thing – captured

within grey!

no longer do the birds

in joyful chorus-

sing happily their songs.

their words lie frozen –

broken as the surface of the sky.

i touch the glass –

to wipe the discontent away –

to see if i may find you there –

peering in –

desperation eyes –

searching –

longing!

but i find only lonely shades of winter –

placid as the frozen sea –

          of your indifference!