preeminent misconception –

lonely,

does not rely on being –

alone…

days – there are –

sun shining,

not a single solitary cloud in the sky.

yet – shadows,

deep as midnight darkness –

(secrets hide in the dark,

gnashing their teeth –

overly animated and eager.)

at what moment did you decide –

indifference?

what memory – un-suppressed –

tipped the scale?

yesterday is mine.

holding your hand.

strolling through – uncertainty –

certain!

(i cannot explain sadness –

even gravity cannot hold so tight!).

if – as easy as making a wish –

you would come true –

i would not be on this bridge –

(solace when touching deep water…)

angry at myself for the need –

yet unable to refrain…

inadequacy:

the most un–healable pain!

i feel the sadness in the air –

thick dark clouds concealing the sun –

a tapestry of despair – blocking out all light –

and heavy,

the weight of my sorrow…

where did it go – my youth?

how fleeting the time has passed –

and my journey seems close to its end…

i will not fear –

the un-becoming;

this soul is aged –

this body,

tired from the travel –

and i can finally see –

on the horizon –

new hope,

new possibilities…

this is not the end of my journey,

merely time to change into something a little more

comfortable,

for the flight home…

i feel the sadness in the air –

thick dark clouds concealing the sun –

a tapestry of despair – blocking out all light –

and heavy,

the weight of my sorrow…

where did it go – my youth?

how fleeting the time has passed –

and my journey seems close to its end…

i will not fear –

the un-becoming;

this soul is aged –

this body,

tired from the travel –

and i can finally see –

on the horizon –

new hope,

new possibilities…

this is not the end of my journey,

merely time to change into something a little more

comfortable,

for the flight home…

that which you are –

intrigues me –

the depth of your eyes,

a vortex that pulls me in –

the warmth of your smile enlightens me…

wherever i go –

you go –

for i carry you in my heart.

irreplaceable as light –

delight more grand than sound

to one who cannot hear –

i keep you near,

cornerstone of every dream…

more than – just enough,

intrusive as – is –

merely hearing your voice throws chaos to the wind –

and when we touch –

my entire existence bends!

you are the air –

mere breath i long to breathe!

those days are here again –

when i’m alone –

clinging to the threads of

my existence,

     falling fast!

those days are here again –

when you are gone –

and everywhere i turn,

i find the emptiness,

the lonely shadow.

where are you now –

these sleepless nights,

these lifeless days?

where have you run

to find yourself?

you leave me –

losing mine!

un-found –

not lost –

the difference in the 

absence of belonging…

longing for –

that which you cannot have –

smile returned,

touch received,

void filled…

alone –

i was –

before i thought you found me,

long before i dreamed you –

cared,

believed…

how easy to release –

it seems,

regardless how far the fall –

not even the absence of a net deters the craving…

this lonely life – spent in the shadows,

eyes open,

scanning the horizon –

knees bent –

prayers sent –

all in vain!

your footsteps echo down the corridor,

long passageway of lonely –

leading you away –

from me –

all things good un-gravitate –

un-attach –

leave me –

undefined,

un-entwined with life…

need –

grasping at threads of hope –

a breeze merely blows away…

to be the somebody you want me to be,

i’d have to let go of the nobody i am…

to find my way up from the bottom of down,

requires more rope –

a stronger knot…

you –

my friend –

are not aware –

your disassociation creates grey –

space unfilled –

water much too deep to wade –

too wide to swim –

and your strong hands,

will not build a bridge…

all alone is too much sad –

the absence of touch,

a feeling i wish i never had…