no one found me – today –

or maybe i found him –

either way we ended up together –

both going –

nowhere…

the nothing –

that we shared –

left us with – nothing – to say –

and so –

our journey – silent…

how often –

it seems –

we set our course –

all good intentions,

but one quick wind and we are swept away…

suddenly,

the – something –

we believe in –

is gone –

and no matter how hard you try –

you just can’t find your way…

so sad –

to be – in,

but not – of!

oh my duplicitous Pygmalion!

while you were sleeping,

i was years away…

… trapped,

as you would say –

contained within my pre-assembled tomb of ambiguity.

but there is where i find –

i,

my – me…

and while you walk in circles

around my truth,

expecting walls of nonchalance to crumble,

i smile –

free of your contagious animosity…

how simply –

archaic!

your words,

so fervent in their request to be my savior –

however,

your eyes do not invite –

and your clinched fists can never hold these trembling hands…

unable to feel – fulfilled.

unable to – feel…

precariously balanced between what – is,

and what could be.

clinging to the threads of hope,

praying for – recompense!

where did it go – my reason?

i held it – oh so tight –

but my footing failed,

and i slid much too quickly,

into unsure – vast sea,

unmeasured depth,

of doubt…

how rudiment –

the concept –

what is – is,

yet what can be – most often,

is not…

my prayer – today;

if i’m asleep,

this life – a dream –

please wake me!

for there are things more frightening

than tigers,

and bears…

oh – how easily your smile succumbs to my pain –

water-color compassion,

left ,

so conveniently,

out in the rain…

white-

black –

defined by labels –

pigeon-holed by circumstance…

absurd,

the very notion,

character defined merely from sight!

i choose –

instead –

to look beyond pigmented-boundaries –

beneath the surface,

you and i are much the same…

indignant –

it would be of me,

to look at you and only see a color –

skin can be so thin,

stretched much too tight –

unable to protect the heart from barbs of prejudice…

i seek a life less cumbersome,

devoid of hate,

where you and i could contemplate our feelings –

free to follow paths defined by hearts,

unrestrained by paradigms of ethnicity,

or race!

my feelings –

alien to you as much as – secure is to timid,

shatter like shards of glass against your narcissistic walls…

how awesome,

it must be –

being  you;

how – required!

pompous as an apostrophe –

owning possession,

and the power to unite –

yet completely – unaffected!

and while you dangle effortless,

unencumbered –

I remain tied to the weight of my own culpability.

necessary,

you are –

more than any imagined ownership.

for without you,

meaning is lost;

and I become irrelevant as a useless preposition –

alone  –  without the companion of my most reluctant ,

yet oh so necessary –

object…

shackled by the awesomeness of you –

i stand in shadow –

waiting for the lightening crash,

the thunder roll,

the storm – inevitable – to pass…

there is no – just because –

with you,

no almost – no doubt!

you oh so effortlessly over-fill the cup,

sweep the refuse from the waste

of – nearly – aside.

walk right up to indecision –

unafraid – un-denied!

if i could have one wish –

one dream come true –

to be as much as even half of you –

to run through fields of confidence,

toss chaos to the wind,

open – with purpose –

the pages of life –

release the doubt,

the fear of – not enough!

for just one day –

to be the – axis,

not merely the passenger –

the reason,

no longer –

just the afterthought…

solitude –

precursor to loneliness.

disassociation of self –

from soul.

plunged head first –

into this desolation…

where do you turn to find

acceptance –

what price – the need?

compassion comes,

but not without cost.

smiles –

transparent,

masking pain –

unrealized.

abandon –

cruel nemesis to faith,

prevails –

hurt sustains!

we hold on to our pain –

sometimes the only thing we feel –

scared to let it go,

afraid of – nothing…

empty –

a vessel of capability,

unfilled;

hands reaching for intention,

unrecognized…

so cold – the absence

of light;

no darkness more deep

than feeling all alone.