dangling –
here –
mere inches from release,
terrified to lose control!
pondering –
the forward,
and reverse –
confused,
unsure…
what if i take the step –
will my footing hold?
the edge is much too close,
and i am yet afraid…
that nothing will replace
the insignificance i have become
and i’ll fall –
headlong –
into less than –
something –
un-missed,
a stone thrown in the pond –
so small –
no sound,
no tell-tale –
ripples!
those days are here again –
when i’m alone –
clinging to the threads of
my existence,
falling fast!
those days are here again –
when you are gone –
and everywhere i turn,
i find the emptiness,
the lonely shadow.
where are you now –
these sleepless nights,
these lifeless days?
where have you run
to find yourself?
you leave me –
losing mine!
how great – to live another is,
unchained to why –
how awesome to – un-become…
un-tethered,
i would roam the sky –
high above the angry sea –
lose myself in currents
of reprieve…
believe – i would no longer
need –
insignificantly – culpable;
unnecessarily – obtrude!
and life –
as relatively – perceived –
could be no more.
sweet freedom –
from the baggage of was,
insignificant as broken shells
on someone Else’s shore…
i found myself –
upon the shore –
gazing in your eyes –
calm –
deep water.
i wanted you to know me –
feel my presence.
without – hesitation –
or reservation –
i tossed the stone…
ripples –
endless waves –
flowing outward.
and even if i wanted –
i could not stop them –
or even withdraw the effect
of my most curious touch
on your enigmatic mind!
i fear
that i will never understand from what authority –
you disallow?
how ludicrous –
the signs you post –
inscribed with such callous – un-intent!
sad,
it must be –
unable to respond –
responsible to guilt –
imprisoned inside a tomb – of should…
and while your hope floats away,
upon a breeze of – nonchalance –
my – could –
remains captive –
bound by chains unseen –
victim to your abrupt,
yet rehearsed,
abandon!
today –
i asked –
have you seen –
my me?
bewildered,
at least portrayed-
you summoned up your ounce of –
empathy –
responded with eyes more cold and vacant
than winter desolation;
no!
today –
i asked if perhaps,
just – possibly –
i passed without you noticing?
indignant –
emotion-starved –
victimized stare,
your face told me more truth than any words
escaping from your tightly clenched lips…
and there,
behind your lie –
evasive as your affection –
i found – myself!
shivering,
cold as the embers of passion from a fire
so long ago left (not) burning!
unable –
sad word –
thrown carelessly into the wind…
inability –
chosen –
not a consequence,
rather,
a decision…
you take from me all that you need –
leave hulls of hope scattered on the floor –
and i am just too weak from wanting more
to sweep,
or even care!
the place we sometimes journey to –
is much too dark to stay,
too far away for words,
more deep than sound –
profound as black on white,
or even still,
the very absence of light…
attempting once again to feel,
we dive head first into the –
nothing,
to somehow feel the splash –
of something…
as delicate as if,
more frail than why –
the sanity we seek to find,
evasive –
hides behind the clouds,
that clutter the skyline of our mind!
i need you –
more than – want,
more than – have to have,
as much as – to die for…
i need –
you,
longer than,
forever –
before – now!
addicted to –
the all-of-you,
i cling to your every word.
place them – captive –
in my heart…
and when i find,
you’ve gone away –
i pull them out –
remembering the way you looked right into me –
spoke comfort,
calmed storms,
extinguished fires of discontent,
by simply uttering my name!
i carry –
you,
deep within – me.
unencumbered
as light attached to dawn –
you are my sunrise.
guiding light.
that leads me safely home!
standing too close to the edge 