indisposed –
un-entwined –
unattached – affection.
where do you turn
when doors are closed,
access – denied?
emotion – spent.
un-realized – intent.
what becomes of feelings – disallowed?
unmarked – grave.
requiem – undisclosed.
eulogy of silence
for life lived in the fringe,
of suppose…
safe –
you think –
behind your wall of – why,
hiding from no one –
but – yourself…
is it the light you flee?
afraid to – see?
or rather,
to be seen?
so easily you cling to presume,
as if it were your shield,
completely – unaware –
the truth you fear
merely shackles you with regret –
blinds you from seeing,
it is that which ultimately,
sets you free.
what i saw in you –
i needed to see in me.
and what i felt for you –
was what was missing from my life.
like a hand given –
but not taken,
a glance –
not returned…
desperation –
a weight – too heavy for this heart to hold,
chains of bondage –
locked tight,
and you,
the key!
my feelings –
alien to you as much as – secure is to timid,
shatter like shards of glass against your narcissistic walls…
how awesome,
it must be –
being you;
how – required!
pompous as an apostrophe –
owning possession,
and the power to unite –
yet completely – unaffected!
and while you dangle effortless,
unencumbered –
I remain tied to the weight of my own culpability.
necessary,
you are –
more than any imagined ownership.
for without you,
meaning is lost;
and I become irrelevant as a useless preposition –
alone – without the companion of my most reluctant ,
yet oh so necessary –
object…
and standing there –
on that great shore –
i watched you wave goodbye…
no words.
no sound dare interrupt
the reverence of that moment.
earth – touched sky.
winds ceased.
all creation – still…
i imagine that you thought
of summer,
when still a child.
the innocence of life before the knowing.
and possibly,
fond memories shared with family,
with friends.
and standing there –
on that great shore-
i saw your bright eyes shining.
effervescence – in your smile.
no sorrow – no fear –
no wonder,
in your going –
away…
and standing there –
on that great shore –
as oh so gentle – the sun kissed the sea,
you were gone.
knowing that today,
i cannot follow –
i wrap your memory in my heart.
hold tightly to my thoughts.
until again –
on that great shore –
you wave once more,
and i too – travel home…
voids –
spaces not filled –
empty – holes …
a glance –
eyes searching for confirmation,
not returned.
a hand – offered –
friendship –
given –
no takers…
sentences without punctuation.
and you –
the question i am not allowed to answer!
standing too close to the edge 