to just for once –

be that which is – necessary;

no longer-

required.

to understand the difference…

you speak to me –

indiscriminately.

unobliging as moon,

to midnight!

pompous –

you are.

supreme to my inadequacy;

omnipotent as sun,

in a sky devoid of clouds…

and even as i try to – not believe,

your matter of fact impales my –

un-faith.

leaves me,

clinging to your strong –

devours my –

weak!

and in the space –

behind the mirror –

your – unafraid –

encouraged my – inability.

as years of hiding in the dark

left me,

weak,

incapable…

how arduous,

this task.

reflecting;

not fondly on the journey.

rather,

as the surface of a most placid sea –

showing merely the reflection

of what

you expect to see…

things unneeded fill our days –

like possibly,

perhaps,

maybe…

how often do we put aside

what matters,

holding our breath –

clinching our hands,

expecting even Atlas to shrug –

for what?

a hand we feel compelled to hold?

replies to questions – unheard?

as callous as forget,

intangible as why –

we build our lives on

could,

should –

then wonder what went wrong

when trapped in lonely –

unremembered as even midnight

by pompous dawn!

what if –

the bridge between

is,

and possibilities…

to linger in the now –

face down,

drowning in regret –

requires too much of not enough.

i choose face up –

forward motion.

captivated by might,

fueled by could –

my journey started yesterday,

with just one step

past accept!

that which you are –

intrigues me –

the depth of your eyes;

a vortex that pulls me in –

the warmth of your smile enlightens me…

wherever i go –

you go –

for i carry you in my heart.

irreplaceable as light –

delight more grand than sound

to one who cannot hear –

i keep you near,

cornerstone of every dream…

more than – just enough,

intrusive as – is –

merely hearing your voice throws chaos to the wind –

and when we touch –

my entire existence bends!

you are the air –

mere breath i long to breathe!

what do i do

with all these thoughts of you,

trapped in my head –

like a fly in the spider’s web…

like the moth drawn to the flame,

i push against the pull –

but the effort –

all in vain…

submersed in thoughts of you,

i waste away –

no struggle against the drowning –

will,

washed away.

no need to throw a rope of hope –

i chose to lose my way..

i watch the swing

sway gently in the breeze –

placed here –

unmoving in my chair,

beside the window.

i feel as tho my very life is still

as if every moving thing has stopped,

save the deafening click of the clocks immortal ticking!

you used to sit there,

hands gripped tightly to the chains,

going higher,

and faster –

singing –

really living.

i used to sit here and watch the sun gleam ,

in your hair –

imagine myself – in you…

i watch the swing

sway gently –

and then – stop.

and deep within my heart –

i feel the cold –

freezing –

filling up every inch of my soul.

i watch you –

lying –

no response,

no expression –

i scream a million prayers,

but no sound will come.

i flood my soul with hurt –

but my eyes remain – dry!

i kill myself within,

so i may lie with you,

beside you –

but all i do is live.

i wish you back –

again,

and again –

but you return – no more –

to my now still – swing…