…today –

you passed me on the street.

for a moment our eyes met.

i formed a smile, greeted you.

you turned your head and walked away.

as i continued along my journey,

i debated with myself – what did i do?

what impression did i give that warranted indifference?

 

confused.

uncertain.

i placed the moment in my box of “after-while” –

consideration for another day.

 

today i messaged you.

excited to share a “guess-what?”.

busy,

you promised conversation some other time –

another day.

perhaps i read more into your dismissal than i should.

just maybe,

i held on too long to my expectation of your when –

misconstrued your (un)intention.

 

today –

i waited for you.

anticipated the familiar comfort of your voice.

impatiently counted the minutes until your arrival.

rehearsed with eager enthusiasm my words expressing joy at your return.

but today,

you did not –

 

return.

 

and standing here,

commiserating with just myself,

i understood the sadness of alone –

the deafening roar of silence –

the numbing pain –

of your most callous – inconsideration…

and just about now,
while the stars shine and the moon is slightly less than full,
we wage wars against ourselves.

 

in this moment, instead of holding hands, we throw sparks –
rekindle flames –
ignite with fear the fires of discontent.
what will it accomplish?
this war of indifference?
if in the end –
when the smoke finally clears –
we find all we’ve conquered –
is good; all that remains –
draped in darkness –
sad shroud of victory worn by kings without crowns –
left only to reign over the grave of morality.

 

and so it goes…

 

and just about now,
we boast and brag of conquests made in the name of jurisprudence –
encroach upon the boundaries of right and wrong –
yet fail to comprehend the majesty of benevolence.

 

and just about – now –
while making plans to ostracize God from our concept of creation –
we fail to realize the structure of our once great society is falling down –
thin walls of faith,
collapsing in upon themselves,
weakened –
by the senseless acts –
inhumanity of man –

 

and just about now –
the reality of our demise is heard –
not in the roar of mighty storms –
but subtle as the exit of day –
more personal than a whisper of consolation,
from the very lips of death…

 

(and now i lay me down to sleep ,
i pray the Lord,
my soul…)

sometimes we sing,
un-compromised –
no one listening.
irrelevant – the need to be heard.
sometimes we just cannot contain the emotion –
corral the words back to their silent place –
deep inside.
and so we sing…

 

sometimes –
the song –
becomes our anthem.
rebellion shouted from lungs trapped in a shell of perceived
should-have-been –
could-have-been.
the escape becomes our escape.
the release –
our freedom –
sometimes…

 

and then –
sometimes –
we no longer hear the music –
and there –
facing the silence –
when we feel we’ve nothing left to say.
before we bow –
final curtain call –
we close our eyes –

 

and sometimes we just – pray…

age –

simply defined;

a collection of years,

or perhaps –

seasons.

 

society puts up fences –

youth here,

old age there,

either, or…

 

i find my place neither

in, nor out –

and so i sit upon the fence –

dangling my feet,

and my heart,

in both pastures.

 

sometimes,

just one word.

 

no explanation.

no pomp nor circumstance.

no indictment of intention.

 

to camouflage with pretense of necessary,

would be heinous –

most affected crime.

 

sometimes,

just one word.

summation made from observation.

 

understanding the truth –

black is black.

white is white.

what purpose loading palettes with grey (indifference)?

 

far less intrusive –

don’t you agree?

definition of opinion –

than silence that implies…

 

sometimes,

just one word…