Monthly Archives: June 2019
and just about now
when I’m without you
agenda’s.
fault-line
wanting to – remember
needing to – remember
yet unable to – remember…
(thoughts strewn random – un-collectable).
pleading,
desperately –
yet adamant.
the mind ,
however,
unyielding…
(uncontrolled chaos – borderline dementia).
memories collected –
haphazardly –
disorganized sanity…
(thin, the line between what is and what should be).
and standing guard –
the one called – father –
ageless sentinel
surveying all –
seeing –
nothing!
seepage of your light
i cling to you like – spider webs –
you brush away!
i wrap myself inside your thoughts,
submerge myself within your silent eyes –
yet you don’t – see me,
don’t even – feel me…,
how is it – my precious friend –
your life can be so – full,
so closed?
i take just so little room –
a hurried breath,
or thought,
or maybe just a simple – sigh!
please make some room for this scared dream –
or else – i die!
sometimes the understanding
to just for once –
be that which is – necessary;
no longer-
required.
to understand the difference…
you speak to me –
indiscriminately.
unobliging as moon,
to midnight!
pompous –
you are.
supreme to my inadequacy;
omnipotent as sun,
in a sky devoid of clouds…
and even as i try to – not believe,
your matter of fact impales my –
un-faith.
leaves me,
clinging to your strong –
devours my –
weak!
becoming Jericho
oh my duplicitous Pygmalion!
while you were sleeping,
i was years away…
… trapped,
as you would say –
contained within my pre-assembled tomb of ambiguity.
but there is where i find –
i,
my – me…
and while you walk in circles
around my truth,
expecting walls of nonchalance to crumble,
i smile –
free of your contagious animosity…
how simply –
archaic!
your words,
so fervent in their request to be my savior –
however,
your eyes do not invite –
and your clinched fists can never hold these trembling hands…
cause
this post –
specific –
intended.
undeniably – unobtrusive.
words that speak from a shrine of good intention.
words that speak to humble –
humility.
words that speak from a platform of compassion –
across the silence of a room of doubt…
it seems –
sometimes –
the closer we become to who we are,
the further away we move from our comfort zone.
suddenly the definition –
the boundaries –
the allowed,
becomes muted.
uncertainty colored gray replaces the black and white contrast.
is –
becomes could,
should gets consumed by can’t.
as we search for answers to questions we have not the courage to ask,
our serenity disappears –
lost in the chaos of despair…
and effect
these words –
surreptitiously culled from dissertations of faith –
sermons of solidarity.
and yet i wonder if you hear them through the discord of your lamentations.
prayers – i pray.
application for license to disarm.
all the while –
you remain isolated –
entombed within a vault of disbelief.
unable to see over walls built to disallow insurgence of attack –
denigration of emotional stability –
that in effect,
have become prisons
of self-imposed
indifference…