the absence of arbitration.

inviting the cold disconnect of solitude –

the comfort of alone.

too often we gather in congregation of suppose.

disallow our words the freedom of truth.

and finding ourselves surrounded by assembly of deceive,

we trade our identity for the vanity of same.

how can it be –

this miracle of life –

this singular celebration of creation –

can somehow become so much less than allowed?

instead of stepping up to challenge adversary of deception,

we hide behind our banners of indifference –

feigned allegiance to (counterfeit) conviction.

yet when we find ourselves alone –

exposed –

wearing only garments of insignificance –

we shout from platform of contempt –

challenge delegation of discrimination.

uncomfortable –

wearing shoes that do not fit,

walking reluctantly through minefields of indiscretion –

conveniently hidden just under the surface of our regret…

 sometimes i visit the shore,

 here my will crashes into my was.

 i  suppose the possibility exists that you just don’t understand that concept, 

 or perhaps haven’t found desire to travel to that particular destination.

 with the same amount of abandon you choose to deflect; i crave.

 the anticipation more impacting than any supposed drug of choice.

 i watch your eyes as i speak to my conviction. pay close attention to the subtlety of your distance.

 i wonder how it feels to understand boundaries.

 i desperately try to wrap my head around the acceptability of is; 

 my insatiable; never satisfied –

 always picking at the scab of could have been –

 often, drowning in the sea of if…

today i stood – knee deep in the waves – gazing into the setting sun. 

i imagined the sound – unavoidable hiss, as it kissed the relentless sea. 

in that moment – i understood peace.

today i, stood. 

and as the waves pounded against my defense, 

i felt the burden of can’t slip away.

I will admit, in that instant, a shiver of fear found refuge;

attached itself to the sinking buoy of doubt. 

remarkable – 

however –

the deep;

accepting the refuse of regret – returning the surface, still.

today, i stood.

and instead of looking away – 

ashamed of my suppose –

i gazed with wonder past the sea of refrain,

reached out,

unafraid –

embraced the very essence of can.

today i visited the shore,

and found,

me…

lost –
somewhere between used-to-be,
and now.
stumbling over words – unsaid…

where did it go,
the want to –
the have-to-have –
the so much more than just enough?

unrecognized – now.
frayed-edged photos fading into forgotten snapshots of was.
echo’s of laughter,
diminished by the somber cadence of time…

and from eyes once flowing waterfalls of light,
not one single tear.

listen –
hear the loneliness in the pause –
between the life of my hello –
and the death by implication,
in the absence of your goodbye.

tonight – 

instead of speaking disparagingly of the cold –

i utter prayers of blessing for shelter.

tonight – 

even though the anticipation of yet another Monday encroaches upon my peaceful evening –

i consider myself lucky to have option of an agenda.

tonight –

while looking back at opportunity missed –

incidence of disappointment – 

seasons of sorrow – 

i smile.

regardless the tendency to fall victim to discontent –

i made it through each storm.

perhaps you feel burdened by similar encounters with chaos.

just maybe the storm has you trapped in less than adequate shelter. 

if i may interject evidence of plausibility – 

relevance to allowance of discord – 

before you offer platitudes of denigration aimed at the author of our creation,

i suggest you take a moment to just be still.

nowhere is it written there will be no obstacles along our journey. 

there is, 

however, 

promise of recompense. 

reward for endeavors of faith. 

compensation for pain. 

instead of lamenting over battles lost –

pride compromised – 

find solace in knowing the war will be won. 

in fact –

the outcome decided long before we even knew it had begun…