Monthly Archives: April 2020

and just about now

and just about now,
while the stars shine and the moon is slightly less than full, we wage wars against ourselves.
in this moment, instead of holding hands, we throw sparks – rekindle flames – ignite with fear the fires of discontent.
what will it accomplish? this war of indifference?
if in the end – when the smoke finally clears – we find all we’ve conquered – is good;
all that remains – draped in darkness – sad shroud of victory worn by kings without crowns – left only to reign over the grave of morality.
and so it goes..
and just about now,
we boast and brag of conquests made in the name of jurisprudence –
encroach upon the boundaries of right and wrong –
yet fail to comprehend the majesty of benevolence.
and just about – now –
while making plans to ostracize God from our concept of creation –
we fail to realize the structure of our once great society is falling down –
thin walls of faith,
collapsing in upon themselves,
weakened – by the senseless acts – inhumanity of man –
and just about now –
the reality of our demise is heard –
not in the roar of mighty storms –
but subtle as the exit of day –
more personal than a whisper of consolation,
from the very lips of death…
(and now i lay me down to sleep ,
i pray the Lord,
my soul…)
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prayer for judgment

outstretched –
without restriction –
a hand.

offered –
free –
unqualified –
open arms of compassion.
simple things all too often taken for granted.

confined to rooms of routine,
we lose the passion for living –
commit ourselves to merely,
life.

for some of us,
the process suffocating.
disallowed to authenticate our disillusion,
we pursue alternative methods of engagement.
once unrestrained,
the freedom from mundane becomes our drug of choice.

and you.
standing defiant in your Chasuble of condemnation –
conspire to chastise –
categorize our behavior within paradigms of dissension.
i suppose,
if measured by standards of secular jurisprudence,
our mercurial behavior could be considered deviant –
perhaps radical.
however,
if allowed,
prayer for judgment?

how can you stand in posture of authority over courts of supposition?
surely you do not feel justified to gather stones!
how can you entertain acts of accommodation with conviction –
pass sentence for crimes you merely postulate as accused –
ill-informed,
bearing witness to effect,

yet no affiliation with the cause…

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insinuation of refrain

preoccupied.

unavailable.

agenda –

over-full… 


it seems we simply exist –

to exist.


black and white priorities muted to obligations of grey.

we enter auditoriums of suppose,

yet exit before encores of know.


ignorant to ownership of capability –

obtusely self-absorbed!


with characters flawed from addictions to same,

we fall in line –

paupers by convenience –

reciting litany’s to camouflage our disdain.

and yet,

when offered avenues of alteration,

deny with apoplectic revulsion

accommodation to insinuation of refrain.


obedient, we have become,

to complacency.

prisoners to indifference –

unaware we hold keys

to the locks of our self-imposed commonalit

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afterthought

shackled by the awesomeness of you –
i stand in shadow –
waiting for the lightning crash,
the thunder roll,
the storm – inevitable – to pass…
 
there is no – just because –
with you,
no almost –
no doubt!
you oh so effortlessly over-fill the cup,
sweep the refuse from the waste
of – nearly –
aside.
walk right up to indecision –
unafraid –
un-denied!
 
if i could have one wish –
one dream come true –
to be as much as even half of you –
to run through fields of confidence,
toss chaos to the wind,
open – with purpose –
the pages of life –
release the doubt,
the fear of – not enough!
 
for just one day –
to be the – axis,
not merely the passenger –
the reason,
no longer – just the afterthought…
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losing touch

indignant –
compassion starved from
insatiable insensitivity…

how can there be justification
for callous abandon?

all too often it seems we
close doors,
build walls,
create barricades –
manipulate emotions to protect our hearts from hurt,
yet find,
in the end,
our – selves – starving for a touch –
gentle caress…

friendship –
sweet reprieve for our emaciated souls –
never realized!

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becoming Jericho

oh my duplicitous Pygmalion!
while you were sleeping,
i was years away…
… trapped,
as you would say –
contained within my pre-assembled tomb of ambiguity.
but there is where i find –
i,
my – me…

and while you walk in circles
around my truth,
expecting walls of nonchalance to crumble,
i smile –
free of your contagious animosity…
 
how simply –
archaic!
your words,
so fervent in their request to be my savior –
however,
your eyes do not invite –
and your clenched fists can never hold these trembling hands…
 
 
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hurdles

sometimes we stand off-stage –
silent in the shadows.
waiting for the applause to quiet.
anxious for our moment.
 
what if the words we say contradict our intention?
if misunderstood,
how can we erase the indiscretion?
what if –
instead of allowing opportunity for exposure –
we chose to exit the auditorium –
withdraw our monologue from the arena of consideration?
 
reluctance affirms behavior of diminished trust.
to suppose confrontation with presumed disinterest,
merely solidifies the sin of assumption.
what will it matter –
in the end –
who disagreed?
 
if what we seek as punctuation for our journey is the commonality of acceptance –
then why begin?
 
as one created in the image of such a flawless creator,
how can we entertain thoughts of inadequacy?
surely the standards implied by a society lacking even a hint of morality
serve only to strengthen our purpose –
ignite the fire of our intent.
 
how amazing –
this faith.
to own license of confidence in the promise of forever.
regardless the temporary distraction –
hurdles of shouldn’t,
and couldn’t,
and can’t…
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thorns

if by chance my intention has been unclear,
allow these words to remove any misconception.

i may have inadvertently amplified the need for your acceptance.
my apologies!
i do appreciate your contribution to the scenery,
but i simply cannot stop along my path to visit in your garden.

the thorns,
i find,
afford more pain
than the temporary fix of your most fragrant roses.
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i – in bondage…

what i saw in you –
i needed to see in me.
and what i felt for you –
was what was missing from my life.
like a hand given –
but not taken,
a glance –
not returned…
desperation –
a weight – too heavy for this heart to hold,
chains of bondage –
locked tight,
and you,
the key!
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everything

i long to be – to you –
all that you have become –
to me…
 
that first sliver of sun at dawn,
or the twinkle of twilight’s
first star…
 
if only i could fill your world with wonderful,
exceptional –
smother you with fantastic,
awesomely – amazing…
 
if even for one solitary second
i could be
that which flows through your veins –
fills your heart –
gives you life.
how great the rush.
to be considered something so essential –
so necessary!
 
as much as air –
as incidental as day –
i long to be the impulse for your smile,
casual sigh,
the beat your heart skips…

everything to –
you –
to me –
you are…
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