today i walked through fields of used to be acquaintance. 

and while the road was still familiar, 

the landscape –

i no longer recognized. 

well-worn paths traveled in different seasons,

now unaware of anything passing – 

other than time. 

in place of meadows bursting green with gift of life –

only silent wind-blown fields,

holding fading memories of being alive. 

and  where once i found the gate to paradise, 

now only broken remnants of speculation… 

you seem surprised. 

no absolution sought for act of disconnection? 

no predetermined propaganda – 

distortion of the truth? 

funny how choosing the longer route home 

is met with such opposition. 

perhaps your logic can enlighten me?

the distance – 

you say – 

provokes the heart to grow fonder. 

if so, 

why nearly silent the sound of mine – 

barely beating?”

we sometimes, stand alone.

unable to offer our heart,

much less our hands.

we sometimes feel,

removed from companion to necessary –

transparent – just outside the fringe of need.

we sometimes,

merely – exist.

is it then,

when stumbling over could have been,

we commiserate with cant?

embrace unable?

isolate our selves from can?

if that be the case –

if choosing failure as punctuation to the statement of our us,

what then?

surely the world will not stop turning.

regardless the light-less dark of the blackest night,

the sun will rise again.

we were not born into a world of supposition.

our fate,

never decided by rolling dice or mediums reading palms.

we sometimes find accommodation with our pain –

begin to understand the blessing of life in its absence.

and once we realize the value of letting go,

the closer we find ourselves being held…

tonight i shared treasured conversation with angels – without wings.

or at least ones i could not see.

tonight i offered words of consolation.

opened doors of compassion.

sat in silent gardens of prayer for intercession –

realized the most important gift i could ever receive,

was already mine.

comfort –

peace undefined –

grace i could never afford,

offered from the God of all creation –

tonight i lost baggage of indecision –

walked out of my past –

one foot in front of the other,

singing in my heart sweet song of hallelujah –

unafraid of my journey’s ending,

aware each breath could be –

my last…

unable to – feel…

precariously balanced between what – is,

and what could be.

clinging to the threads of hope,

praying for – recompense!

where did it go – my reason?

i held it – oh so tight –

but my footing failed,

and i slid much too quickly,

into unsure – vast sea,

unmeasured depth,

of doubt…

how rudiment –

the concept –

what is – is,

yet what can be – most often,

is not…

my prayer – today;

if i’m asleep,

this life – a dream –

please wake me!

for there are things more frightening

than tigers,

and bears…

oh – how easily your smile succumbs to my pain –

water-color compassion,

left ,

so conveniently,

out in the rain…