today i placed you

in my box of death -

closed the lid -

allowed your darkness,

absence - from my light...



bundled up,

with ribbons of regret,

i laid your sorrow by the door -

safe outside the fortress of my heart.



silent -

contained inside my chamber of refrain -

i watched the raindrops attach themselves to windows - closed,

clinging with cold deliberation to the glass...



today i placed your memory

where the shadows grow -

waited without sound -

allowed the silence audience in the arena of despair.



today -

i lingered for a moment more

upon the shore of your demise.

said my farewells -

loosened chains of regret,

and in that instant of your escape,

this captive heart,

realized,

for the first time,

how it felt to be finally set free...

words unsaid -
touch un-felt -
promises, not made -
unbroken...

just how deep is too deep -
how real?
too real?
what is the penalty for touch -
instead of feel?

deep the water from your shore -
dark reservoir of intrigue -
and that safe room - behind your eyes -
illusive as - seems...

i would give a thousand - knows,
a million - haves -
for just one moment of your time -
(to understand, not assume)

dreams - i weave -
realities - i conceive -
engulfed within the enigma of you...

ethereal -
you are to me -
miles from ordinary...

wanting more than less -

needing more than have -

i find my life in shadow,

standing still...



consumed by doubt -

entombed within the walls of disbelief -

i feel the madness creep

into my living,

forcing me to contemplate my fate.



do i seek refuge here

in dying's harbor?

commit to nothing -

become un-done?


how simple then,

the letting go -


no need -

for need,

no longing -

to belong...



so sweet the peace that

must come with the passing.

so great the un-weight,

un-encumbered -

un-entwined -

the soul,

aged captive -

finally free...

we say we did not choose to be -
the us we are.
we denounce the labels that define,
yet scribble words from strangers on documents of presume.

we stand alone in front of wishing wells.
imagine life redefined. 
and yet hold tightly to the coins of change. 
what purpose - 
consideration? 
will it matter in the end the option - 
not chosen? 


if -
in fact - 
this life is merely prelude to the play of forever, 
why spend wasted time rehearsing lines no one will remember? 
after all - 
words cannot open doors designed for touch. 
more sensible to knock in silence.
persistent affirmation of conviction.
intention realized by feel - 
rather than imagined - 
simply heard.