what is it,

defines distinction between what we wish for –

what we dream about –

what we desire,

and what we actually receive?

so often we stumble upon others that seem headed in the same direction.

for a while,

the journey seems less difficult –

less lonely.

it’s during those times we tend to allow interaction without reservation.

we become so caught up in our own preconceived notion of camaraderie

that we open doors without contemplating the what if…

what if we realize we were merely filler.

what if we come to understand we really don’t hold elevation over anything –

merely option one step above probability of nothing?

what if we recognize the time wasted was never intended to actually matter?

i have no doubt tomorrow will arrive.

i believe the sun will shine –

even if wearing temporary distraction of clouds.

i know without the shadow of a doubt,

the God that created my situation,

will still control the outcome of my reality.

and even as i wrap my head around the truth that i am replaceable –

regardless my tenure in the temporary temple of companionship –

the cycle of life continues on.

i suppose there are things more detrimental than being alone.

i suppose there are feelings more cumbersome than isolation.

i suppose there is absence of life,

camouflaged indifference –

more counterfeit than simulated appearance of living…

sometimes,

fewer is greater,

less is more…

decision made through indecision.

to decide not to choose,

is still making a choice…

and you there,

silhouette in the shadows,

mute?

or simply unaffected by emotion?

how pretentious,

dressed in your costume of presume…

some of you understand.

some of you have also heard the voice –

sometimes a shout –

most often a whisper.

some of you own the words to enlighten –

lift up –

deter,

while others cannot find the courage required –

not,

no longer an option…

for you,

i say a prayer…

your battle –

so much more than presumed,

intense,

more than allowed.

and while someone somewhere prints volumes to suppose,

they cannot truly ever understand.

this pain is your fight.

these scars are yours.

and you wear them –

too often with shame.

for you, i say a prayer…

if only those of you that,

feel ownership to denounce –

un-justify –

condemn,

could bear the weight of inability for just one day.

to understand the frustration of –

the aggravation from –

defeat.

how differently,

you would see them –

those all around you –

fighting to stay afloat –

deep water,

currents strong.

while just out of reach –

upon the shore –

chaos-free contentment…

for you,

much more than them,

i say a prayer…

you hide behind your – suppose –

as if it were a shroud,

seemingly unaware of the audacity –

imposed by your flagrant transparency…

how awkward –

meeting here like this –

exposing all my is,

to find it wasted effort to your – presume!

when did the lines become so blurred?

boundaries,

redefined?

we used to travel the same path –

shared the same – once upon a time…

dangling now –

contemplating the letting go –

while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.

surely there is no sadness more intense

than dying –

without death!

words.

letters collected.

arranged.

shared on walls of expression.

isolated,

their meaning easily misconstrued.

however,

with implication of intent,

become either bullets of betrayal,

or bastions of benevolence.

how easily we fall victim to promises of emancipation.

with just the flicker of light,

we assume the darkness no longer our captor.

surely there is nothing more unfair than fear.

to long for morning when confined in prisons of night.

to long for waking from nightmares of despair.

to imagine daybreak.

Summer sun.

peace…

by what authority do you designate – hate?

who held your hand on the book of truth –

recited proclamations of presume?

i find it oh-so-hard,

to sit in audience of defamation –

constrained by chains of inconsideration,

unable to declare authority –

in courtrooms of suppose…

sanctimonious –

succinctly anti-social;

preoccupied by choice,

not confined by the humility of required remediation.

and of all the things conceived –

paramount to feelings of being content;

unrealized absolution;

sins –

unresolved…

circles –

we travel.

always leading back to the comfort of familiar places –

big fish –

oh so little ponds.

until that day when the levee breaks –

releases us from streams of complacency.

only then can we fully understand the small of where we’ve been –

comprehend the big of can,

the palpability of is –

and apropos of  conceptually un-imagined intimacy –

the acquisition of sanctification more profound than any presumed salvation.

piously devout,

we stand upon our thrones of discern –

arrogantly contest status of faith –

embellish feelings of consternation –

lost,

or saved?

how sad –

to join in lamentation of morality’s demise,

all the while,

hiding stones of misconceived perception inconspicuously behind our backs…

if,

by chance,

you find yourself recipient of a gem when mining the streams of friendship,

by all means recognize it’s blessing.

it requires so little effort to show appreciation.

in a world where shiny trinkets of superficial beauty are definitely more treasured than the substantial and often taken for granted cast-iron commonalities,

it’s important to understand the difference between value and worth.

we all find ourselves walking along a shore of fractured shells.

for me,

the absence of presumed perfection allows opportunity for acceptance.

such comfort in the knowing –

a friend,

without pretense –

beautiful,

and just as broken…

taken for granted.

a light available with the flick of a switch –

forgotten as easily as sunset –

consumed by night.

with less than disregard,

we close the book –

forget the stories of temporary companion.

disengaged from the process of relevance –

memories tossed with careless abandon into the placid sea of regret.

what purpose then –

the pursuit of interaction?

surely the absence of superficial accommodation less painful

than wounds incurred by relentless attacks

from arsenals of indifference…