Author Archives: boyfrommville

behind blue eyes

lips pursed tightly –
scream suppressed –
eyes masking the terror that hides within…
in this sad world –
silence becomes a much wanted,
much needed place –
(the voices never quiet),
 
but elusive;
the dissipating wisp of smothered flame,
phrases barely visible on foggy mirrored panes…
to find that place –
where dreams reside –
that Xanadu of peace –
to float like clouds upon a tranquil sky,
oh what release…
to find recompense –
from the madness,
(oh Father, where art thou?)
that would be the greatest gift!

more pure than gold –
to be held,
not just the one who holds!
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just a whisper of addiction…

some of you understand.

some of you have also heard the voice –

sometimes a shout –

most often a whisper.

 

some of you own the words to enlighten –

lift up –

deter,

while others cannot find the courage required –

not,

no longer an option…

 

for you,

i say a prayer…

 

your battle –

so much more than presumed,

intense,

more than allowed.

and while someone somewhere prints volumes to suppose,

they cannot truly ever understand.

 

this pain is your fight.

these scars are yours.

and you wear them –

too often with shame.

 

for you, i say a prayer…

 

if only those of you that,

feel ownership to denounce –

un-justify –

condemn,

could bear the weight of inability for just one day.

to understand the frustration of –

the aggravation from –

defeat.

how differently,

you would see them –

those all around you –

fighting to stay afloat –

deep water,

currents strong.

while just out of reach –

upon the shore –

chaos-free contentment…

 

for you,

much more than them,

i say a prayer…

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miles from ordinary

 

words unsaid –

touch un-felt –

 

promises, not made –

unbroken…

 

just how deep is too deep –

how real?

too real?

 

what is the penalty for touch –

instead of feel?

 

deep the water from your shore –

dark reservoir of intrigue –

and that safe room – behind your eyes –

illusive as – seems…

 

i would give a thousand – knows,

a million – haves –

for just one moment of your time –

(to understand, not assume)

 

dreams – i weave –

realities – i conceive –

engulfed within the enigma of you…

 

ethereal –

you are to me –

miles from ordinary!

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departure

you hide behind your – suppose –
as if it were a shroud,
seemingly unaware of the audacity –
imposed by your flagrant transparency…
 
how awkward –
meeting here like this –
exposing all my is,
to find it wasted effort to your – presume!
when did the lines become so blurred?
boundaries,
redefined?
we used to travel the same path –
shared the same – once upon a time…
dangling now –
contemplating the letting go –
while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.
surely there is no sadness more intense
than dying –
without death!
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trust

safe –
you think –
behind your wall of – why,
hiding from no one –
but – yourself…

is it the light you flee?
afraid to – see?
or rather,
to be seen?
 
so easily you cling to presume,
as if it were your shield,
completely – unaware –
the truth you fear
merely shackles you with regret –
blinds you from seeing,
it is that which ultimately,
sets you free.
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perhaps a patch

i often find myself promoting allegiance to faith –

especially to those struggling in arenas of doubt.

i challenge them to step out of the chains of fear so inappropriately self imposed.

parables recited.

miracles referenced.

volumes of scripture quoted.

 

most often,

it seems the effort in vain.

reformation available yet undesired.

it seems the accouterments of vanity supersede the paltry garments of sincere.

 

yet in this season of contradiction,

i find my reservoir of believe nearly drained.

how can i offer admonition for religious insurrection

while wearing transparent Alb of supposed conviction?

 

who am i to stand behind pulpits of discern

with eyes closed to the inferiority of my own diminished capacity?

 

i suppose –

if measuring the volume of could in the much larger vessel of should –

we all find opportunity for replenishment.

and sometimes –

when feeling less than full –

perhaps a patch..

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to sit in audience to – know.

obstinate,
don’t you think,
for you to stand outside the door to this dark room,
toss randomly –
like wooden matches flicked –
your insinuations?
ludicrous,
to presume yourself companion to my indifference.
you do not bare the scars of my assumed indiscretion.
and nowhere in the book of you
is there evidence to support incidence of (misconstrued) self-deprecation.
if not for lack of care,
i would invest more time into a study of your contradiction.
but knowing at the end of the day,
the conviction you suggest is nothing more than a mask your insensitivity holds residence behind –
careless of you –
to suppose.
when invitation was given without obligation to sit in audience to know.
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of prayer…

disenchanted and disillusioned,
we grasp at strands of compassion as the very footing of humanity crumbles beneath us.
fearing the absolute worst,
we run away from the scene of the crime rather than face the source of the fear –
fight the wrong.
and as we stumble in our haste to escape,
we find ourselves even further from the sanctuary of hope than when we began…
 
i pray for you –
i pray for me –
i pray;
one day soon –
though our eyes have been closed by choice –
we will see the path that leads to our salvation.
i seem to have an extra shovel –
lend a hand?
a grave for animosity –
another for indifference.
don’t we owe it to ourselves?
freedom?
 
no longer slaves to fear.
redemption –
recompense –
you do not have,
simply because you do not ask…
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fault-line

wanting to – remember
needing to – remember
yet unable to – remember…
(thoughts strewn random – un-collectable).
pleading,
desperately –
yet adamant.
the mind ,
however,
unyielding…
(uncontrolled chaos – borderline dementia).
memories collected –
haphazardly –
disorganized sanity…
(thin, the line between what is and what should be).
and standing guard –
the one called – father –
ageless sentinel
surveying all –
seeing –
nothing!
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narcissistic you…

pensive –

 

hypocritically – contrite –

you stand alone,

a bastion of solitude in a sea of outstretched hands…

 

demure in your self-proclaimed in-culpability.

astonishingly – obtuse.

 

devoid of even a trace of empathy,

i watch as you bask in your

self-righteous piety –

seemingly unaware of the absurdity –

oblivious of your own flagrant nonentity!

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