Author Archives: boyfrommville

in my defense

beneath it all –

even below the ever growing pile of discontent…

layered,

ever so patiently –

my – defense –

(scar-tissue effect).

time passes;

and just as quickly as a borrowed breath – returned,

this now,

becomes our was…

what of it,

then?

false hope clinging in vain to should?

if we are less than everything allowed,

why – be – at all?

oh! i suppose there could be desire to rise above,

but even birds with broken wings

never forget how it feels to fly…

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behind blue eyes

lips pursed tightly –

scream suppressed –

eyes masking the terror that hides within…

in this sad world –

silence becomes a much wanted,

much needed place –

(the voices never quiet)

but elusive;

the dissipating wisp of smothered flame,

phrases barely visible on foggy mirrored panes…

to find that place –

where dreams reside –

that Xanadu of peace –

to float like clouds upon a tranquil sky –

oh what release…

to find recompense –

from the madness –

(oh father where art thou?)

that would be the greatest gift –

more precious than gold –

to be held –

not just the one who holds!

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into your nothing…

from chaos –

there comes a crown,

or so it may appear.

be careful –

all that glitters,

(well, you know)…

impromptu –

as it all may seem –

this course was –

pre-determined;

agenda’s,

hidden –

motive – un-disclosed…

and while the self-proclaimed queen ascends the throne,

those hiding in the shadows,

clinch tight their stones,

(solidarity – buried in an unmarked grave).

pompous –

precariously perched high upon – presume;

you think your – self – a god?

how sad,

but oh so satisfying!

your unsure steps,

leading you further along,

into the nothing…

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bottom of down

to be the somebody you want me to be,

i’d have to let go of the nobody i am…

to find my way up from the bottom of down,

requires more rope –

a stronger knot…

you –

my friend –

are not aware –

your disassociation creates grey –

space unfilled –

water much too deep to wade –

too wide to swim –

and your strong hands,

will not build a bridge…

all alone is too much sad –

the absence of touch,

a feeling i wish i never had…

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miles from ordinary

words unsaid –
touch un-felt –
promises, not made –
unbroken…
just how deep is too deep –
how real?
too real?
what is the penalty for touch –
instead of feel?
deep the water from your shore –
dark reservoir of intrigue –
and that safe room – behind your eyes –
illusive as – seems…
i would give a thousand – knows,
a million – haves –
for just one moment of your time –
(to understand, not assume)
dreams – i weave –
realities – i conceive –
engulfed within the enigma of you…
ethereal –
you are to me –
miles from ordinary!
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me, myself, and you.

i overheard a conversation,

a day or two ago –

it seems myself was

unhappy with me –

i turned and quickly walked away

without offering my opinion.

not my battle –

not my war,

at least not on that day…

looking back,

now,

i have to wonder –

the outcome of the confrontation.

insignificant,

i suppose –

as i am still the same me,

and i feel myself,

still very much alive…

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Sonnet #1: What I have found in you

My friend – you touch me deeper than the sun,

And every smile you smile fills up my soul!

With you it matters not what I have done,

For all my dreams, you’ve taken and made whole!

Before your touch my life was closing fast,

But then you came and opened up the door.

Now all my insecurities have passed,

I’ve found with you a life, and so much more!

You’ve brought the sun, and rolled the clouds away,

And I can see new hopes and dreams ahead.

I’ll never wonder what to do or say,

Because with you, all thanks can go unsaid!

If I had one small gift to give to you –

to find in me – what I have found in you!

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tease

flimsy as maybe –

unstable as if –

your promise floats above me,

just out of reach…

perhaps you feel the effort

more important than the feel,

suppose – more necessary than real.

intentions – undefined –

your non-touch

un-opens me.

while you roam effortlessly from your dreams,

you keep me tightly clasped –

to mine…

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more than much

into this world we’re born –

craving affection –

warm caress,

open arms,

love…

and as we walk along life’s journey

we search for that – connection –

eyes that meet,

glance shared,

confirmation of mutual admiration…

yet –

it seems –

that if that touch,

that – embrace –

falls outside the paradigms of social acceptance –

we push away,

close doors,

retreat…

why is it – 

my friend –

my feelings invade your – right?

my need exceeds your – allowed?

i have only everything to give to you –

sunlight on a cloudy day –

care more than all of life’s unconcern –

and love –

pure as fire,

real as touch –

i only want to be that which you need –

all of want –

more than much!

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to become

what if –

the bridge between

is,

and possibilities…

to linger in the now –

face down,

drowning in regret –

requires too much of not enough.

i choose face up –

forward motion.

captivated by might,

fueled by could –

my journey started yesterday,

with just one step

past accept!

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