i have to say i understand
the voice of silence.
like me –
it doesn’t need to scream
to acknowledge –
animosity…

it rather remain that whisper you thought you heard;
rustle of leaves in the (no) wind;
anxiety – animated by midnights darkness!

afraid – you wear,
much more secure than trust,
and that look of despair in your –
exit-door eyes;
oddly – justified!

always sad –
to watch the wreck of trains;
yet weak, are we.
unable to turn away from the tragedy;
paralyzed by our –
un(wanted)-interest.
content within our room of –
simply do not care (we care!)…

to be the somebody you want me to be,
i’d have to let go of the nobody i am…

to find my way up from the bottom of down,
requires more rope –
a stronger knot…

you –
my friend –
are not aware –
your disassociation creates grey –
space unfilled –
water much too deep to wade –
too wide to swim –
and your strong hands,
will not build a bridge…

all alone is too much sad –
the absence of touch,
a feeling i wish i never had…

today –
i asked –
have you seen –
my me?
bewildered,
at least portrayed-
you summoned up your ounce of –
empathy –
responded with eyes more cold and vacant
than winter desolation;
no!

today –
i asked if perhaps,
just – possibly –
i passed without you noticing?

indignant –
emotion-starved –
victimized stare,
your face told me more truth than any words
escaping from your tightly clenched lips…

and there,
behind your lie –
evasive as your affection –
i found – myself!
shivering,
cold as the embers of passion from a fire
so long ago left (not) burning!

i hear your sadness
screaming through the silence…

big sky –
little moon –
somewhere on the other side of my world,
you –
behind the clouds…

what absence do you run from –
what darkness terror
keeps you locked away?

safe inside your guarded walls
i cannot reach you…

what feeling worse than lonely –
what pain more real than
breaking heart,
outstretched hand – empty –
unanswered prayer…

broken still –
emotion spilled into a void –
longing cuts like shards of glass –
the soul…

you are my pain,
and passion,
self-contained!

collect all the thoughts of you,
in a box –
place them by the door –
i don’t need them anymore…

gather the pieces of discontent,
tossed on the ground,
fragments of used-to-be need,
throw them all away –
there is no use for them today…

anguish –
sad so heavy it steals all light –
hurt darker than lonely midnight –
regret,
dreary as melancholy rain…

association made between closing door –
goodbye –
broken heart…

pain fills up the space between used-to-be
and now –
leaves no room for if-
no hope of could…

if tears made holes when hitting ground –
i’d fall forever and a day –
for i placed my all on every word you said –
and nothing now is what i have…

heart empty,
still as wave-less sea –
hands full of what should be!

no one found me – today –
or maybe i found him –
either way we ended up together –
both going –
nowhere…

the nothing –
that we shared –
left us with – nothing – to say –
and so –
our journey – silent…

how often –
it seems –
we set our course –
all good intentions,
but one quick wind and we are swept away…

suddenly,
the – something –
we believe in –
is gone –
and no matter how hard you try –
you just can’t find your way…

so sad –
to be – in,
but not – of!

sitting on the shore –
watching reflections on the water;
yellow sun,
blue sky –
solitary bird flying into the horizon…

how small –
am i –
in a world so big,
how insignificant…

why do i wake?
routinely do the things i do?
for what purpose?

i throw a stone into the water –
causing ripples –
disturbing the placid serenity –
and for a moment – i am known –
but the water is deep,
my pebble – oh so small –
and once again –
the surface still…

i cannot believe that there is no tomorrow –
no sunrise chasing night –
no need to – believe…

for surely –
God – in all his greatness –
created more than this small holder of dreams –
and even when i cease to be –
in this place –
i will most surely – rise again!

great is my faith –
oh so strong my belief!

thought about being lonely –
today.

thought about all the times
i’ve ran away.
leaving you cold for awhile –
then returning.
wearing the things you love;
my heart on my sleeve,
and a smile!

realized – today,
that you are truly – gone!
and trying to wash away your
memory,
i filled my soul with
insecurity,
bled my eyes – tear-stained –
dry!

thought about living – today,
and died!

the place we sometimes journey to –
is much too dark to stay,
too far away for words,
more deep than sound –
profound as black on white,
or even still,
the very absence of light…

attempting once again to feel,
we dive head first into the –
nothing,
to somehow feel the splash –
of something…

as delicate as if,
more frail than why –
the sanity we seek to find,
evasive –
hides behind the clouds,
that clutter the skyline of our mind!

in a room filled with nonsense,
on a day filled with lies,
revelations (not) said –
come really as no surprise…

ever so quickly –
full moon behind cloud –
upside-down righted-smiles?
or merely reflections of frowns.

and if the edge of betrayal
was not sharp enough,
the absence of your consideration,
(mellifluous sangria – sweet sum of all non-concern)
secures tightly the noose…

i truly cannot understand
the method,
behind your madness.
your words,
like seeds from dandelions,
take my breath –
then blow callously away!