beneath it all –
even below the ever growing pile of discontent…
layered,
every so patiently –
my – defense –
(scar-tissue effect).
time passes;
and just as quickly as a borrowed breath – returned,
this now,
becomes our was…
what of it,
then?
false hope clinging in vain to should?
if we are less than everything allowed,
why – be – at all?
oh! i suppose there could be desire to rise above,
but even birds with broken wings
soon forget how it feels to fly…
once upon a –
not so long ago;
before the now,
was then.
soon after that first,
hello…
(Eden –
well,
at least some acceptable facsimile),
there was a you,
i knew –
and a me you,
although – reluctantly –
allowed –
admittance…
why is it –
in the light –
all demons – disappear?
aren’t they –
by nature –
invincible?
if can’t is not allowed to become is,
what then?
this timid soul does not posses the strength to slay
even the most subtle dragon,
and nowhere in the manual of supposition
is there an option –
to just – be!
indignant –
of you to assume!
your judgement falls like hail upon the road –
undisclosed to one –
further along the journey!
from chaos –
there comes a crown,
or so it may appear.
be careful –
all that glitters,
(well, you know)…
impromptu –
as it all may seem –
this course was –
pre-determined;
agenda’s,
hidden –
motive – un-disclosed…
and while the self-proclaimed queen ascends the throne,
those hiding in the shadows,
clinch tight their stones,
(solidarity – buried in an unmarked grave).
pompous –
precariously perched high upon – presume;
you think your – self – a god?
how sad,
but oh so satisfying!
your unsure steps,
leading you further along,
into the nothing…
when if turns into is –
tomorrow,
yesterday –
i’ll still be waiting here for you,
midnight anticipating dawn…
long –
the shadows on the road –
with miles left yet to travel –
but i’ve grown weary of the journey…
time used to be a friend of mine –
until the days behind were greater than ahead.
quickly –
earnestly –
i grasp for one more rung on this ladder of my life –
ambitious –
determined –
seeking consistency
in a mercurial world…
can you reach out a hand today?
this friend indeed –
is more than just a friend in need –
and you,
much more than just the axis to a world
ever so quickly turning!
where are you hiding,
ray of light?
i closed my eyes –
just for a moment,
and you were gone…
where did you run to,
with my could?
you leave me here –
holding only my might…
once upon a time –
far away –
long ago –
possibly stopped by,
but i,
too encumbered with couldn’t,
didn’t try to entertain…
now my here is dark,
and oh so lonely!
no promise of dawn –
no full moon bright to cast even a shadow…
discordant,
the music in my head –
but in my heart,
only the sound of breaking –
– glass – through which i
can see,
but never feel the touch –
ignorance – i passed on the street today –
(outspoken bias like a crows call).
we did not speak,
well,
he tried…
(insidious comments – contrite, obtrude)
my thoughts remained inside my head,
(impulse fighting lips – pursed tight!)…
safely passed,
i turned to take one final glance –
(no fear of turning to salt!).
hoping i would see – nothing…
how shocked to find –
old nemesis –
hypocrite!
i thought that time would take away the memories,
(bottles sank in a distant sea – message lost),
but i find –
all too available –
feelings,
(anguish, hurt, remorse),
and try as i may –
i just cannot erase your touch…
(nails on a chalkboard),
or remove the splinters of your hurt from my heart…
(time does not heal all wounds!)
My friend – you touch me deeper than the sun,
And every smile you smile fills up my soul!
With you it matters not what I have done,
For all my dreams you’ve taken and made whole!
Before your touch my life was closing fast.
But then you came and opened up the door.
Now all my insecurities have passed.
I’ve found with you a life and so much more!
You’ve brought the sun and rolled the clouds away.
And I can see new hopes and dreams ahead.
I’ll never wonder what to do or say,
Because with you all thanks can go unsaid!
If I had one small gift to give to you –
To find in me – what I have found in you!
ice is forming –
on the windows –
now.
i hear the whistle of the wind –
its song,
so sad!
everywhere –
in cold secluded –
silence,
every-thing – captured
within grey!
no longer do the birds
in joyful chorus –
sing happily their songs,
their words lie frozen –
broken as the surface of the sky.
i touch the glass –
to wipe the discontent away –
to see if i may find you there –
peering in –
desperation eyes –
searching –
longing!
but i find only lonely shades of winter –
placid as the frozen sea –
of your indifference!
i cling to you like – spider webs –
you brush away!
i wrap myself inside your thoughts,
submerge myself within your silent eyes –
yet you don’t – see me,
don’t even – feel me…
how is it – my precious friend –
your life can be so – full,
so closed?
i take just so little room –
a hurried breath,
or thought,
or maybe just a simple – sigh!
please make some room for this scared dream –
or else – i die!
on a stage built for another day,
psycho’s dance like marionettes –
the only difference between them,
and sanity,
lies in the hands of the one holding the strings…
you speak to me –
words fragile as eggshells –
divert my attention,
momentarily,
from the lunatics i currently entertain.
and for a moment –
i am free!
why is it –
my friend –
you cannot let the anchor hold?
exciting – you are.
outbursts more intense than December lightening.
intensity – rivaled only by the sun.
but you choose,
to refrain.
drawn up deeper inside yourself than darkness to night,
you leave me alone to drift in your enigmatic currents.
cast-away,
mere ripples of memories in search of a shore.
standing too close to the edge 