and on this particular day –
in – just this same spot –
you –
i –
did engage in life;
day,
sun,
moon,
dawn – all shared experiences –
beneath the same sky…

holding here –
in these trembling hands –
(insecure most definitely wins over self-control),
all of the nothing,
even remotely – un-acceptable gift –
(when all you have to offer is less than sky,
too faint for blue…)

i have found –
over time –
that life – my life –
is not defined by the things that happen to me –
but more,
how i react to them.

i take a moment –
today –
wrap my brain around the inevitable truth:
life (the process),
is (unequivocally),
most –
awesome!
(there shall be no compromise!).

anxious permeates the room –

when you walk in.

a storm in liberation –

intriguing,

as much as darkness feels about light…

evasive –

you –

escaping into – might.

no matter how hard I will you back to – is.

acutely aware of the risk,

am I –

yet unable to resist!

palliative –

you have become.

to my addiction,

oh-so-eager to

assist…

i long to be the – oh –
the – wow –
exhilarating gasp of – awe,
in an otherwise quiet room!

to be that –
suspect,
that –
even remotely – considered.

to be –
consumed –
as breath –
entering in –
and back out again.
unassuming,
yet essential –
inasmuch as believe,
to dream…

you are that –
deity –
on which i hang
(effortlessly)
my hope.
demagogue to champion compassion.
and i –
your willing martyr!

upon cutting the strings….

in reference to how –
i’m more involved with why –
outcomes are the end result,
the process of thoughts – much more intriguing!

what brings one to the place
where reason fails –
what overtakes the mind in such a way
that impulsivity commands all actions?

i think that i will never understand
the way the smallest breath can
create the strongest current;
my mind cannot fathom the space
between your accept – my intent –
my indulgence merely pushes you away…

(trapped i am – no less than a moth to the flame…)

sing a song of six pence –
pocket full of –
why?
nursery rhymes – forgotten –
(innocence and nonchalance went missing).

on the under – side of hope;
beneath the spangled starry sky,
on the ledge –
precariously balanced –
anxious,
animated…
(marionettes dance –
unaware of the importance of – strings -).

tied to you –
i am!
to life and death and why and why not…

alabaster dedications –
engraved with –
when and why and what for.
the soul –
however –
un-contained within the stone…
(birds alone know heaven).

unable to lift the down –
struggling against the waves of doubt –
afraid to drown,
i avoid deep water,
wade instead in shallows –
seeking desperately some unseen shore…

fearful of losing footing –
stepping off the ledge
into a deeper pool of nothing.

what is it about you –
frightens me so?
your eyes –
liquid pools of hello –
invite me in –
outstretched hands offer close –
but all i do is pull away…

afraid today to take the plunge,
i struggle to stay afloat –
set adrift on stormy seas –
no calm of hope –
no rope of trust to moor this sinking ship –
tossed aside by
waves of discontent!

i long to be – to you –
all that you have become –
to me…

that first sliver of sun at dawn,
or the twinkle of twilight’s
first star…

if only i could fill your world with wonderful,
exceptional –
smother you with fantastic,
awesomely – amazing…

if even for one solitary second
i could be
that which flows through your veins –
fills your heart –
gives you life.
how great the rush.
to be considered something so essential –
so necessary!

as much as air –
as incidental as day –
i long to be the impulse for your smile,
casual sigh,
the beat your heart skips…

everything to –
you –
to me –
you are…