Category Archives: poetry

such (not) gentle hands…

i trusted you with my me,
opened all the doors,
threw away the locks of insecurity –
gazing now –
into the sun –
i find it –
mostly setting –
pulling with it,
down like tattered blinds upon broken windows,
all light,
all hope…
i trusted you with my heart –
gave in to weakness,
bottled up from years of – all alone.
how did i know –
you did not have such gentle hands…
and i would become indisposed –
naked and alone –
a shell –
with wishes never heard,
tossed lonely on an angry sea…
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deconstruction

you speak to me –
only with your eyes –
simple glance my way,
sensational as the shiver that a whisper brings…

so gracefully,
into my thoughts,
you settle in –
wrap the everything you are
around the all of what I am;
(only skin can understand close).

and while I may be nestled in
my barricade of –
survival,
you oh so effortlessly –
(leaves understand inability)
pull apart my walls of self-defense –
deconstruct my self-destruction…

compelling –
you are –
enticing me to fly on wings of possibility –
but I sit idle –
unable to escape from my cocoon –
(what is more splendid than butterfly wings?)

and watch,
what could be,
walk emphatically away!

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on passing through rooms of displeasure…

i read –
and was forever changed.
 
isn’t that the beauty of this experience called life?
the ownership of interpretation.
to understand that which moves me,
may cause no similar response in you.
 
each time i enter this room of share,
i say a prayer before touching the keys.
to imply the words are mine would be considered the most elevated evidence of tyranny.
most often,
i rather hold close the thoughts –
contain them within the rooms of my displeasure.
 
however, the holder of the latch will not comply –
and all at once –
escape…
 
and so it goes.
these words i borrow;
thoughts entertained on visits from countries i have yet to travel –
journeys un-begun.
tonight i stand upon the balcony of suppose –
gaze longingly upon the setting sun –
surrender without reluctance my care.
 
what if i wake tomorrow?
what matter will it make –
these thoughts?
perhaps upon passing,
you will linger.
just long enough to take breath.
and as quickly as your exhale,
the moment gone.
 
apropos of disengage,
your read,
will fall along the side –
random highway –
unnamed –
so all-too-soon,
forgotten…
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the palpability of is

circles –
we travel.
always leading back to the comfort of familiar places –
big fish –
oh so little ponds.
 
until that day when the levee breaks –
releases us from streams of complacency.
only then can we fully understand the small of where we’ve been –
comprehend the big of can,
the palpability of is –
and apropos of conceptually un-imagined intimacy –
the acquisition of sanctification more profound than any presumed salvation.
 
piously devout,
we stand upon our thrones of discern –
arrogantly contest status of faith –
embellish feelings of consternation –
lost,
or saved?
 
how sad –
to join in lamentation of morality’s demise,
all the while,
hiding stones of misconceived perception inconspicuously behind our backs…
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sometimes the understanding

to just for once –
be that which is – necessary;
no longer-
required.
to understand the difference…
 
you speak to me –
indiscriminately.
unobliging as moon,
to midnight!
 
pompous –
you are.
supreme to my inadequacy;
omnipotent as sun,
in a sky devoid of clouds…
 
and even as i try to – not believe,
your matter of fact impales my –
un-faith.
leaves me,
clinging to your strong –
devours my –
weak!
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  to kneel

 

standing there – lost.

perhaps, more aptly described – not found. how can it be in this vast plain of we, one solitary me remains unattached – disconnected?

today i listened to conversation – dissatisfaction over lack-of – frustration with not-enough.

today i listened to voices spewing rhetoric of anguish – less-than desired.

today i listened to passion -all but wasted disappointment – accoutrements disallowed.

today –

i listened.

 

 

more importantly –

today,

i did not hear; whispers of gratitude. and in the silent pauses between the screams of discontent – no sigh of satisfaction over – living!

how can it be we cling with diligence to inheritance of desire,

yet with the same strong hands,

allow disconnect to obligation.

and in this moment when chaos takes center stage in the tragedy of our lives,

we contemplate with heated delegation infractions to rules of solidarity.

 

 

insignificant – your decision to kneel – supposition to anthem of suffrage,

more apropos;

position of defiance.

when so much more profound – statement of intention by faith –

standing side by side

silent –  but heard –

the still small voice of conviction –

reverence not implied,

intangible –

yet seen.

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disallowed

what purpose –

words.

manipulated expression designed to un-intend.

regardless the inquisition –

in spite of implied affirmation –

sometimes the only resolution comes from silence.

and if,

by chance –

you feel disconnected –

disallowed –

pushed outside the doorway of necessary,

perhaps your key was not designed to fit the lock –

just maybe,

the door was never meant to open…

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absence of belonging

un-found –

not lost –

the difference in the

absence of belonging… 

 

longing for –

that which you cannot have –

smile returned,

touch received,

void filled… 

 

alone –

i was –

before i thought you found me,

long before i dreamed you –

cared,

believed… 

how easy to release –

it seems,

regardless how far the fall –

not even the absence of a net deters the craving… 

this lonely life – spent in the shadows,

eyes open,

scanning the horizon –

knees bent –

prayers sent –

all in vain! 

your footsteps echo down the corridor,

long passageway of lonely –

leading you away – 

from me –

all things good un-gravitate –

un-attach – 

leave me –

undefined,

un-entwined with life… 

need –

grasping at threads of hope –

a breeze merely blows away…

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unencumbered

i need you –
more than – want,
more than – have to have,
as much as – to die for…

 
i need –
you,
longer than,
forever –
before – now!
addicted to –
the all-of-you,
i cling to your every word.
place them – captive –
in my heart…

 
and when i find,
you’ve gone away –
i pull them out –
remembering the way you looked right into me –
spoke comfort,
calmed storms,
extinguished fires of discontent,
by simply uttering my name!

 
i carry –
you,
deep within – me.
unencumbered
as light attached to dawn –

 
you are my sunrise.
guiding light.
that leads me safely home!

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on the road from re-probation to redemption

concern,

or obligation?

compassion,

or prayer for judgment?

i hear you speak words of sympathy in regards to incarceration of addiction.

and yet i fail to feel conviction in your offering of feigned commiseration.

 

 

i suppose,

to understand the is of someone’s habit,

one must have lived the was of their own.

presumptuous,

don’t you think,

alms offered for atonement of sins supposed?

on what platform of implied accommodation do you feel justified offering allegiance?

 

 

prayers i hear –

utterance of intercession.

yet there you stand –

un-kneeled –

eyes un-closed,

hands un-folded.

and from the words you speak –

no consolation,

no reprieve.

 

 

to enter heaven crawling –

pleading mercy –

unclothed of all but humility;

more appropriate ending to my life –

than concealed in robes of presume,

carried ceremoniously unaffected

down the corridors of hell…

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