losing touch

indignant –
compassion starved from
insatiable insensitivity…

how can there be justification
for callous abandon?

all too often it seems we
close doors,
build walls,
create barricades –
manipulate emotions to protect our hearts from hurt,
yet find,
in the end,
our – selves – starving for a touch –
gentle caress…

friendship –
sweet reprieve for our emaciated souls –
never realized!

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becoming Jericho

oh my duplicitous Pygmalion!
while you were sleeping,
i was years away…
… trapped,
as you would say –
contained within my pre-assembled tomb of ambiguity.
but there is where i find –
i,
my – me…

and while you walk in circles
around my truth,
expecting walls of nonchalance to crumble,
i smile –
free of your contagious animosity…
 
how simply –
archaic!
your words,
so fervent in their request to be my savior –
however,
your eyes do not invite –
and your clenched fists can never hold these trembling hands…
 
 
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hurdles

sometimes we stand off-stage –
silent in the shadows.
waiting for the applause to quiet.
anxious for our moment.
 
what if the words we say contradict our intention?
if misunderstood,
how can we erase the indiscretion?
what if –
instead of allowing opportunity for exposure –
we chose to exit the auditorium –
withdraw our monologue from the arena of consideration?
 
reluctance affirms behavior of diminished trust.
to suppose confrontation with presumed disinterest,
merely solidifies the sin of assumption.
what will it matter –
in the end –
who disagreed?
 
if what we seek as punctuation for our journey is the commonality of acceptance –
then why begin?
 
as one created in the image of such a flawless creator,
how can we entertain thoughts of inadequacy?
surely the standards implied by a society lacking even a hint of morality
serve only to strengthen our purpose –
ignite the fire of our intent.
 
how amazing –
this faith.
to own license of confidence in the promise of forever.
regardless the temporary distraction –
hurdles of shouldn’t,
and couldn’t,
and can’t…
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thorns

if by chance my intention has been unclear,
allow these words to remove any misconception.
i may have inadvertently amplified the need for your acceptance.
my apologies!
i do appreciate your contribution to the scenery,
but i simply cannot stop along my path to visit in your garden.

the thorns,
i find,
afford more pain
than the temporary fix of your most fragrant roses.
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i – in bondage…

what i saw in you –
i needed to see in me.
and what i felt for you –
was what was missing from my life.
like a hand given –
but not taken,
a glance –
not returned…
desperation –
a weight – too heavy for this heart to hold,
chains of bondage –
locked tight,
and you,
the key!
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everything

i long to be – to you –
all that you have become –
to me…
 
that first sliver of sun at dawn,
or the twinkle of twilight’s
first star…
 
if only i could fill your world with wonderful,
exceptional –
smother you with fantastic,
awesomely – amazing…
 
if even for one solitary second
i could be
that which flows through your veins –
fills your heart –
gives you life.
how great the rush.
to be considered something so essential –
so necessary!
 
as much as air –
as incidental as day –
i long to be the impulse for your smile,
casual sigh,
the beat your heart skips…

everything to –
you –
to me –
you are…
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more than much

into this world we’re born –
craving affection –
warm caress,
open arms,
love…
 
and as we walk along life’s journey
we search for that – connection –
eyes that meet,
glance shared,
confirmation of mutual admiration…
 
yet –
it seems –
that if that touch,
that – embrace –
falls outside the paradigms of social acceptance –
we push away,
close doors,
retreat…
 
why is it –
my friend –
my feelings invade your – right?
my need exceeds your – allowed?
 
i have only everything to give to you –
sunlight on a cloudy day –
care more than all of life’s unconcern –
and love –
pure as fire,
real as touch –
 
i only want to be that which you need –
all of want –
more than much!
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so soon forgotten

misled –
sometimes –
by the cover.
 
assumption –
until the book is read.

when taken out of context,
terms of endearment can be misconstrued –
labeled incredulous facsimiles of compassion.
or even more absurd –
perversion of benevolence –
disfigured presentation of affection.

by what authority are robes of discernment worn?
if judgment were allowed simply stated,
what integrity would there be in contradiction?
opinion would linger no longer than ripples from stones thrown in the water.
so soon –
the rock forgotten –
just as quickly as even memory of the splash…
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sometimes the understanding

to just for once –
be that which is – necessary;
no longer-
required.
to understand the difference…
 
you speak to me –
indiscriminately.
unobliging as moon,
to midnight!
 
pompous –
you are.
supreme to my inadequacy;
omnipotent as sun,
in a sky devoid of clouds…
 
and even as i try to – not believe,
your matter of fact impales my –
un-faith.
leaves me,
clinging to your strong –
devours my –
weak!
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to become

what if –
the bridge between
is,
and possibilities…
 
to linger in the now –
face down,
drowning in regret –
requires too much of not enough.
 
i choose face up –
forward motion.
 
captivated by might,
fueled by could –
my journey started yesterday,
with just one step
past accept!
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