so softly the summer rain falls

my is –
interrupted –
fades into the vastness of was.
replaced, perhaps,
be it ever so briefly,
by yet another is…
 
when yesterday was today,
surreptitiously culled from could be,
to become,
you and that version-of-the-day me, did interact.
now i find your – is –
no more.
and realizing my inability to continue my journey
with you,
into your was,
makes me pause…
 
how apropos – on such a day as this;
hummingbirds and seraphim!
and as your you ascends from the tomb of could not,
the universe itself is moved to tears –
so softly the summer rain falls…
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bottom of down

to be the somebody you want me to be,
i’d have to let go of the nobody i am…
 
to find my way up from the bottom of down,
requires more rope –
a stronger knot…
 
you –
my friend –
are not aware –
your disassociation creates grey –
space unfilled –
water much too deep to wade –
too wide to swim –
and your strong hands,
will not build a bridge…
 
all alone is too much sad –
the absence of touch,
a feeling i wish i never had…
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this amazing life

this moment –
borrowed,
short –
precious…

it hangs on – briefly;
a breath held in anticipation –
skipped beat of a heart –
first babies cry…

awesome – don’t you think –
this journey called life?

it seems so many times –
we get caught up in the – want –
involved in expectation;
preoccupied with – when –
so much that we miss out on the – now…

my – is –
this – moment;
all i need,
and all i’m guaranteed –

you may choose another agenda –
fill your days,
your – moments –
with – what if…
but -i,
i choose – acceptance,
gratitude,
appreciation –
each breath –
each moment –
sweet gift of life –
amazing!

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upon cutting the strings…

sing a song of sixpence –
pocket full of –
why?
nursery rhymes – forgotten –
(innocence and nonchalance went missing).
 
on the underside of hope;
beneath the spangled starry sky,
on the ledge –
precariously balanced –
anxious,
animated…
(marionettes dance –
unaware of the importance of – strings -).
 
tied to you –
i am!
to life and death and why and why not…
 
alabaster dedications –
engraved with –
when and why and what for.
the soul –
however –
un-contained within the stone…
(birds know heaven).
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further along the journey

once upon a –
not so long ago;
before the now,
was then.
soon after that first,
hello…
(Eden –
well,
at least some acceptable facsimile),
there was a you,
i knew –
and a me you,
although – reluctantly –
allowed –
admittance…
 
why is it –
in the light –
all demons – disappear?
aren’t they –
by nature –
invincible?

if can’t is not allowed to become is,
what then?
this timid soul does not possess the strength to slay
even the most subtle dragon,
and nowhere in the manual of supposition
is there an option –
to just – be!

indignant –
of you to assume!
your judgement falls like hail upon the road –
undisclosed to one –
further along the journey!
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when i’m without you

those days are here again –
when i’m alone –
clinging to the threads of
my existence,
falling fast!
 
those days are here again –
when you are gone –
and everywhere i turn,
i find the emptiness,
the lonely shadow.
 
where are you now –
these sleepless nights,
these lifeless days?
where have you run
to find yourself?
 
you leave me –
losing mine!
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on being insignificant…

“while you were busy branching out,

exploring possibilities without borders,
i struggled with simple survival.
while you were busy investing time into the bank of expected dividend,
i imagined the reciprocation of interest.
while you were busy extolling the benefits of benevolence –
tossing statements of supposed compassion –
i dodged stones of indifference.
while you were busy expanding your universe,
i prayed for forgiveness –
pried unsuccessfully,
the thorn of jealousy from my side.
and in a moment of unexpected clarity –
understood the significance of being –
insignificant,
walked with purposeless lack of intention the landscape of alone.
spent quality time with just myself,
while you were busy…”
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standing too close to the edge…

dangling –
here –
mere inches from release,
terrified to lose control!
 
pondering –
the forward,
and reverse –
confused,
unsure…
 
what if i take the step –
will my footing hold?
the edge is much too close,
and i am yet afraid…
 
that nothing will replace
the insignificance i have become
and i’ll fall –
headlong –
into less than –
something.
 
un-missed,
a stone thrown in the pond –
so small –
no sound,
no tell-tale –
ripples!
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miles from ordinary

 

words unsaid –

touch un-felt –

 

promises, not made –

unbroken…

 

just how deep is too deep –

how real?

too real?

 

what is the penalty for touch –

instead of feel?

 

deep the water from your shore –

dark reservoir of intrigue –

and that safe room – behind your eyes –

illusive as – seems…

 

i would give a thousand – knows,

a million – haves –

for just one moment of your time –

(to understand, not assume)

 

dreams – i weave –

realities – i conceive –

engulfed within the enigma of you…

 

ethereal –

you are to me –

miles from ordinary!

 

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mid-life

age –
simply defined;
a collection of years,
or perhaps –
seasons.
 
society puts up fences –
youth here,
old age there,
either, or…
 
i find my place neither
in, nor out –
and so i sit upon the fence –
dangling my feet,
and my heart,
in both pastures.
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