voices.

we have.

different.

some loud.

some soft.

and so we speak.

sometimes the words serve as comfort –

sooth a spirit torn apart –

mend a broken heart.

and then –

sometimes,

the words simply cannot contain themselves.

emotion overflows the chamber of their restriction.

and as they gush from a place imagined dry –

parched from a sun invincible,

we feel the sound of their hurt,

we hear them cut the air like thunder – precedes lightening…

if only, at that moment of careless abandon, we could – interfere with the release…

this truth –

if we can pass by – on the street – our brother without a coat,

standing in the rain.

if we can ignore – sitting all alone –

our sister giving in to demons,

resistance gone.

if we can close our eyes at night –

recite prayers inclined to elevate our us,

and yet recuse ourselves from ownership of the sin of indifference,

what merit is there in our testimony?

how can we utter allegiance to this God we’ve never seen,

yet disallow admittance of even the least of these into our sanctuary?

voices,

we have.

and yet we choose silence.

all the while –

on bended knee –

assuming blessing we simply have not earned…

…today –

you passed me on the street.

for a moment our eyes met.

i formed a smile, greeted you.

you turned your head and walked away.

as i continued along my journey,

i debated with myself – what did i do?

what impression did i give that warranted indifference?

confused.

uncertain.

i placed the moment in my box of “after-while” –

consideration for another day.

today i messaged you.

excited to share a “guess-what?”.

busy,

you promised conversation some other time –

another day.

perhaps i read more into your dismissal than i should.

just maybe,

i held on too long to my expectation of your when –

misconstrued your (un)intention.

today –

i waited for you.

anticipated the familiar comfort of your voice.

impatiently counted the minutes until your arrival.

rehearsed with eager enthusiasm my words expressing joy at your return.

but today,

you did not –

return.

and standing here,

commiserating with just myself,

i understood the sadness of alone –

the deafening roar of silence –

the numbing pain –

of your most callous – inconsideration…

and just about now,
while the stars shine and the moon is slightly less than full,
we wage wars against ourselves.

in this moment, instead of holding hands, we throw sparks –
rekindle flames –
ignite with fear the fires of discontent.
what will it accomplish?
this war of indifference?
if in the end –
when the smoke finally clears –
we find all we’ve conquered –
is good; all that remains –
draped in darkness –
sad shroud of victory worn by kings without crowns –
left only to reign over the grave of morality.

and so it goes…

and just about now,
we boast and brag of conquests made in the name of jurisprudence –
encroach upon the boundaries of right and wrong –
yet fail to comprehend the majesty of benevolence.

and just about – now –
while making plans to ostracize God from our concept of creation –
we fail to realize the structure of our once great society is falling down –
thin walls of faith,
collapsing in upon themselves,
weakened –
by the senseless acts –
inhumanity of man –

and just about now –
the reality of our demise is heard –
not in the roar of mighty storms –
but subtle as the exit of day –
more personal than a whisper of consolation,
from the very lips of death…

(and now i lay me down to sleep ,
i pray the Lord,
my soul…)

sometimes we sing,
un-compromised –
no one listening.
irrelevant – the need to be heard.
sometimes we just cannot contain the emotion –
corral the words back to their silent place –
deep inside.
and so we sing…

sometimes –
the song –
becomes our anthem.
rebellion shouted from lungs trapped in a shell of perceived
should-have-been –
could-have-been.
the escape becomes our escape.
the release –
our freedom –
sometimes…

and then –
sometimes –
we no longer hear the music –
and there –
facing the silence –
when we feel we’ve nothing left to say.
before we bow –
final curtain call –
we close our eyes –

and sometimes we just – pray…

age –

simply defined;

a collection of years,

or perhaps –

seasons.

society puts up fences –

youth here,

old age there,

either, or…

i find my place neither

in, nor out –

and so i sit upon the fence –

dangling my feet,

and my heart,

in both pastures.

sometimes,

just one word.

no explanation.

no pomp nor circumstance.

no indictment of intention.

to camouflage with pretense of necessary,

would be heinous –

most affected crime.

sometimes,

just one word.

summation made from observation.

understanding the truth –

black is black.

white is white.

what purpose loading palettes with grey (indifference)?

far less intrusive –

don’t you agree?

definition of opinion –

than silence that implies…

sometimes,

just one word…

to just for once –

be that which is – necessary;

no longer-

required.

to understand the difference…

you speak to me –

indiscriminately.

unobliging as moon,

to midnight!

pompous –

you are.

supreme to my inadequacy;

omnipotent as sun,

in a sky devoid of clouds…

and even as i try to – not believe,

your matter of fact impales my –

un-faith.

leaves me,

clinging to your strong –

devours my –

weak!

have you seen me lately?.
looking for you –
following you –
have you felt the presence
of my hands –
as a breeze blew past –

perhaps felt the caress of my soul
on your face,
in your heart?

longingly – you stare,
yet ever so – placid.

your soul cries out to me,
as you stuff silence down your throat,
and the flame – dies!

anxious permeates the room –

when you walk in.

a storm in liberation –

intriguing,

as much as darkness feels about light…

evasive –

you –

escaping into – might.

no matter how hard I will you back to – is.

acutely aware of the risk,

am I –

yet unable to resist!

palliative –

you have become.

to my addiction,

oh-so-eager to

assist…

working through the pain that has become my life.
stepping carefully on the thin ice of truth,
fragile –
cold.

so hard to strip away the shell –
layer upon layer,
so hard to face the lies –
confront the fears.

alone –
i stand – vulnerable, insecure,
afraid.

alone –
i fall upon myself – weak,
unable to face the reality of –
honesty!

suddenly you appear – strength –
holding in your hand –
a single – match.

what will you do with all the power?
confused –
anxious –
i watch you start the fire –
feel the heat –
feel the ice melting…

exposed –
unrestrained –
i give away all doubt –
throw caution to the very wind that feeds the flame…

i let my life melt into yours –
forgetting all the pain –
all the burns and scars of hurt –
you cover me
a desert –

for the first time –
feeling rain!