you hide behind your – suppose –

as if it were a shroud,

seemingly unaware of the audacity –

imposed by your flagrant transparency…

how awkward –

meeting here like this –

exposing all my is,

to find it wasted effort to your – presume!

when did the lines become so blurred?

boundaries,

redefined?

we used to travel the same path –

shared the same – once upon a time…

dangling now –

contemplating the letting go –

while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.

surely there is no sadness more intense

than dying –

without death!

to be the somebody you want me to be,

i’d have to let go of the nobody i am…

to find my way up from the bottom of down,

requires more rope –

a stronger knot…

you –

my friend –

are not aware –

your disassociation creates grey –

space unfilled –

water much too deep to wade –

too wide to swim –

and your strong hands,

will not build a bridge…

all alone is too much sad –

the absence of touch,

a feeling i wish i never had…

5-31-61

my moment of glory.

a mere drop in the ocean of time.

for what it’s worth,

the entrance was no less grand than

that of Mendelssohn,

or Debussy,

or even – van Gogh!

the difference, however,

realized now in retrospect,

occurring over the

span of time –

My life…

culling through the memories,

picking out the fond ones to savor,

the hulls to cast aside –

i find few to etch in stone.

like the spider spinning his web,

all it takes is a strong wind,

and all at once –

alone!

when yesterday was today,

surreptitiously culled from could be,

to become,

you and that version-of-the-day me, did interact.

now i find your – is –

no more.

and realizing my inability to continue my journey

with you,

into your was,

makes me pause…

how apropos – on such a day as this;

hummingbirds and seraphim’s!

and as your you ascends from the tomb of could not,

the universe itself is moved to tears –

so softly the summer rain falls…

flimsy as maybe –

unstable as if –

your promise floats above me,

just out of reach…

perhaps you feel the effort

more important than the feel,

suppose – more necessary than real.

intentions – undefined –

your non-touch

un-opens me.

while you roam effortlessly from your dreams,

you keep me tightly clasped –

to mine…

i lose my way –

inside the space –

between my hello,

and your goodbye…

time stands still.

reality – redefined.

i lose my way –

in the maze of your smile.

wonder,

as i wander,

how can such beauty coexist,

with so much pain –

contained,

within the enigma – of you…

and as i make my way

across the broken surface of your (un)intention,

i recognize the jagged edge of your sorrow.

stumble on the uneven terrain,

of your silent – disregard…

questions,

i have.

opportunity for you to abrogate – suppose.

yet truth,

you do not choose.

and inasmuch as dark

does not consume the light,

your conviction does not make the wrong of your abandon,

even

remotely

right…

how great – to live another is,

unchained to why –

how awesome to – un-become…

un-tethered,

i would roam the sky –

high above the angry sea –

lose myself in currents

of reprieve…

believe – i would no longer

need –

insignificantly – culpable;

unnecessarily – obtrude!

and life –

as relatively – perceived –

could be no more.

sweet freedom –

from the baggage of was,

insignificant as broken shells

on someone Else’s shore…