everything

i long to be – to you –
all that you have become –
to me…

 

that first sliver of sun at dawn,
or the twinkle of twilight’s
first star…

 

if only i could fill your world with wonderful,
exceptional –
smother you with fantastic,
awesomely – amazing…

 

if even for one solitary second
i could be
that which flows through your veins –
fills your heart –
gives you life.
how great the rush.

 

to be considered something so essential –
so necessary!

 

as much as air –
as incidental as day –
i long to be the impulse for your smile,
casual sigh,
the beat your heart skips…

 

the everything to –
you –
you are

to me…

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silence in the pause

lost –

somewhere between used-to-be,

and now.

stumbling over words – unsaid…

 

where did it go,

the want to –

the have-to-have –

the so much more than just enough?

 

unrecognized – now.

frayed-edged photos fading into forgotten snapshots of was.

echo’s of laughter,

diminished by the somber cadence of time…

 

and from eyes once flowing waterfalls of light,

not one single tear.

 

listen –

hear the loneliness in the pause –

between the life of my hello –

and the death by implication,

in the absence of your goodbye.

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sometimes the understanding

to just for once –
be that which is – necessary;
no longer-
required.
to understand the difference…

 

you speak to me –
indiscriminately.
unobliging as moon,
to midnight!

 

pompous –
you are.
supreme to my inadequacy;
omnipotent as sun,
in a sky devoid of clouds…

 

and even as i try to – not believe,
your matter of fact impales my –
un-faith.
leaves me,
clinging to your strong –
devours my –
weak!

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Simply rocks

i stopped by to paint my mood,

but rain set in and the colors ran muted to grey…

i stopped by to drop off my baggage of frustration –

realized the gates to acceptance were closed –

access denied…

i stopped by – (third time’s the charm) – to trade in my chaos, for calm –

to no avail – (three strikes, you’re out!)…

 

almost as seldom as never –

generosity chosen instead of obtain.

in this world so full of people,

unimaginable – thoughts of feeling alone.

and yet,

in place of shells with stories to tell,

we end up less than polished stones –

on this shore of life,

unnecessary –

uncollected –

simply – rocks.

 

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somewhere i’ve yet to travel

i cherish you,

as much as great,

when weighed against the character – of good.

 

i lose myself in you.

somewhere i’ve yet to travel;

possibility of your suppose –

implication of your – conceive…

 

somehow –

with effort more than just enough,

you rescue me from shadows of unable-

set me free outside the paradigms of can’t.

 

un-lost,

i find my-self perplexed by allocation of your compassion.

your gift of trust – captivating –

more visible than sight,

to one that chooses not to see.

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departure

you hide behind your – suppose –

as if it were a shroud,

seemingly unaware of the audacity –

imposed by your flagrant transparency…

how awkward –

meeting here like this –

exposing all my is,

to find it wasted effort to your – presume!

when did the lines become so blurred?

boundaries,

redefined?

we used to travel the same path –

shared the same – once upon a time…

dangling now –

contemplating the letting go –

while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.

surely there is no sadness more intense

than dying –

without death!

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bottom of down

to be the somebody you want me to be,

i’d have to let go of the nobody i am…

 

to find my way up from the bottom of down,

requires more rope –

a stronger knot…

 

you –

my friend –

are not aware –

your disassociation creates grey –

space unfilled –

water much too deep to wade –

too wide to swim –

and your strong hands,

will not build a bridge…

 

all alone is too much sad –

the absence of touch,

a feeling i wish i never had…

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all at once – alone…

 

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my moment of glory.

a mere drop in the ocean of time.

for what it’s worth,

the entrance was no less grand than

that of Mendelssohn,

or Debussy,

or even – van Gogh!

the difference, however,

realized now in retrospect,

occurring over the

span of time –

My life…

culling through the memories,

picking out the fond ones to savor,

the hulls to cast aside –

i find few to etch in stone.

like the spider spinning his web,

all it takes is a strong wind,

and all at once –

alone!

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so softly the summer rain falls

when yesterday was today,

surreptitiously culled from could be,

to become,

you and that version-of-the-day me, did interact.

now i find your – is –

no more.

and realizing my inability to continue my journey

with you,

into your was,

makes me pause…

 

how apropos – on such a day as this;

hummingbirds and seraphim’s!

and as your you ascends from the tomb of could not,

the universe itself is moved to tears –

so softly the summer rain falls…

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to the world

ice is forming –
on the windows –
now.
i hear the whistle of the wind –
its song,
so sad!
everywhere –
in cold secluded –
silence.
every-thing – captured
within grey!
no longer do the birds
in joyful chorus-
sing happily their songs.
their words lie frozen –
broken as the surface of the sky.
i touch the glass –
to wipe the discontent away –
to see if i may find you there –
peering in –
desperation eyes –
searching –
longing!
but i find only lonely shades of winter –
placid as the frozen sea –
          of your indifference!
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