this moment –

borrowed,

short –

precious…

it hangs on – briefly;

a breath held in anticipation –

skipped beat of a heart –

first babies cry…

awesome – don’t you think –

this journey called life?

it seems so many times –

we get caught up in the – want –

involved in expectation;

preoccupied with – when –

so much that we miss out on the – now…

my – is –

this – moment;

all i need,

and all i’m guaranteed –

you may choose another agenda –

fill your days,

your – moments –

with – what if…

but -i,

i choose – acceptance,

gratitude,

appreciation –

each breath –

each moment –

sweet gift of life –

amazing!

sitting on the shore –

watching reflections on the water;

yellow sun,

blue sky –

solitary bird flying into the horizon…

how small – am i –

in a world so big,

how insignificant…

why do i wake?

routinely do the things i do?

for what purpose?

i throw a stone into the water –

causing ripples –

disturbing the placid serenity –

and for a moment – i am known!

but the water is deep,

my pebble – oh so small –

and once again – the surface still…

i cannot believe that there is no tomorrow –

no sunrise chasing night – no need to – believe…

for surely – God – in all his greatness –

created more than this small holder of dreams –

and even when i cease to be –

in this place –

i will most surely –

rise again!

great is my faith –

oh so strong my belief!

indisposed –

un-entwined –

unattached – affection.

where do you turn

when doors are closed,

access – denied?

emotion – spent.

un-realized – intent.

what becomes of feelings – disallowed?

unmarked – grave.

requiem – undisclosed.

eulogy of silence

for life lived in the fringe,

of suppose…

what i saw in you –

i needed to see in me.

and what i felt for you –

was what was missing from my life.

like a hand given –

but not taken,

a glance –

not returned…

desperation –

a weight – too heavy for this heart to hold,

chains of bondage –

locked tight,

and you,

and standing there –

on that great shore –

i watched you wave goodbye…

no words.

no sound dare interrupt

the reverence of that moment.

earth – touched sky.

winds ceased.

all creation – still…

i imagine that you thought

of summer,

when still a child.

the innocence of life before the knowing.

and possibly,

fond memories shared with family,

with friends.

and standing there –

on that great shore-

i saw your bright eyes shining.

effervescence – in your smile.

no sorrow – no fear –

no wonder,

in your going –

away…

and standing there –

on that great shore –

as oh so gentle – the sun kissed the sea,

you were gone.

knowing that today,

i cannot follow –

i wrap your memory in my heart.

hold tightly to my thoughts.

until again –

on that great shore –

you wave once more,

and i too – travel home…

voids –

spaces not filled –

empty – holes …

a glance –

eyes searching for confirmation,

not returned.

a hand – offered –

friendship –

given –

no takers…

sentences without punctuation.

and you –

the question i am not allowed to answer!

thought about being lonely –

today.

thought about all the times

i’ve ran away,

leaving you cold for awhile –

then returning,

wearing the things you love;

my heart on my sleeve,

          and a smile!

realized – today,

that you are truly – gone!

and trying to wash away your

          memory,

i filled my soul with

          insecurity,

bled my eyes – tear-stained –

          dry!

thought about living – today,

and died!

absence of belonging

un-found –

not lost –

the difference in the 

absence of belonging…

longing for –

that which you cannot have –

smile returned,

touch received,

void filled…

alone –

i was –

before i thought you found me,

long before i dreamed you –

cared,

believed…

how easy to release –

it seems,

regardless how far the fall –

not even the absence of a net deters the craving…

this lonely life – spent in the shadows,

eyes open,

scanning the horizon –

knees bent –

prayers sent –

all in vain!

your footsteps echo down the corridor,

long passageway of lonely –

leading you away –

from me –

all things good un-gravitate –

un-attach –

leave me –

undefined,

un-entwined with life…

need –

grasping at threads of hope –

a breeze merely blows away…