solitude –
precursor to loneliness.
disassociation of self –
from soul.
plunged head first –
into this desolation…
where do you turn to find
acceptance –
what price – the need?
compassion comes,
but not without cost.
smiles –
transparent,
masking pain –
unrealized.
abandon –
cruel nemesis to faith,
prevails –
hurt sustains!
we hold on to our pain –
sometimes the only thing we feel –
scared to let it go,
afraid of – nothing…
empty –
a vessel of capability,
unfilled;
hands reaching for intention,
unrecognized…
so cold – the absence
of light;
no darkness more deep
than feeling all alone.
oh to be that breath of air
you take; essential as – must,
to have…
to enter into – the all of you –
to become as close,
as one –
to two…
if just for one moment –
to live in your thoughts –
feel the memories –
encounter your – you!
i would give a thousand
could of been’s –
for just one – is,
a lifetime of – life –
for a moment of – living…
oh how must it feel –
to be the addiction,
for once,
no longer the addict!
i allow myself to be small –
enough to hide behind,
suppose…
safe within the confines
of – should be.
while you –
inflated by winds of –
possibility,
roam effortlessly,
my sky…
audacious –
don’t you think?
invading my nonchalance?
with your –
obtuse – insinuations?
you hide behind your – suppose –
as if it were a shroud,
seemingly unaware of the audacity –
imposed by your flagrant transparency…
how awkward –
meeting here like this –
exposing all my is,
to find it wasted effort to your – presume!
when did the lines become so blurred?
boundaries,
redefined?
we used to travel the same path –
shared the same – once upon a time…
dangling now –
contemplating the letting go –
while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.
surely there is no sadness more intense
than dying –
without death!
imagine this –
touch,
without feel…
un-know
the un-truth
that all at once, no longer matters.
for,
gone is now –
the yesterday of your –
tomorrow;
the – reality – of your – is…
subtle,
don’t you think?
the way it,
becomes was?
and yet we feel,
the same as – always – us!
how great – to live another is,
unchained to why –
how awesome to – un-become…
un-tethered,
i would roam the sky –
high above the angry sea –
lose myself in currents
of reprieve…
believe – i would no longer
need –
insignificantly – culpable;
unnecessarily – obtrude!
and life –
as relatively – perceived –
could be no more.
sweet freedom –
from the baggage of was,
insignificant as broken shells
on someone Else’s shore…
i imagine –
days with you –
strolling through open doors,
passing through endless rooms of
contentment.
feeling close –
without the need to touch,
we’d share that which cannot be said.
rather than speeding straight into the
need –
by-passing the greed of
have-to-have –
lingering –
instead – on the very ledge
of – just enough…
your eyes hold secrets –
places i have never been –
realms of unclaimed pleasure –
i would die to comprehend!
oh my duplicitous Pygmalion!
while you were sleeping,
i was years away…
… trapped,
as you would say –
contained within my pre-assembled tomb of ambiguity.
but there is where i find –
i,
my – me…
and while you walk in circles
around my truth,
expecting walls of nonchalance to crumble,
i smile –
free of your contagious animosity…
how simply –
archaic!
your words,
so fervent in their request to be my savior –
however,
your eyes do not invite –
and your clinched fists can never hold these trembling hands…
i imagine –
days with you –
strolling through open doors,
passing through endless rooms of
contentment.
feeling close –
without the need to touch,
we’d share that which cannot be said.
rather than speeding straight into the
need –
by-passing the greed of
have-to-have –
lingering –
instead – on the very ledge
of – just enough…
your eyes hold secrets –
places i have never been –
realms of unclaimed pleasure –
i would die to comprehend!
standing too close to the edge 