i know this stretch of highway well.
i've traveled this winding road.
the curves that lead to where darkness lives -
the no-outlets -
desperation...
i've been where you currently hide.
scratched my name on that same wall of sorrow.
imagined the comfort of care.
and even now, on that very ledge of contemplation -
with the wind of indifference suggesting you just let go -
become undone -
i know...
sometimes in life we find the journey too long between rests.
sometimes - too intense.
sometimes,
lonely.
but what we fail to realize,
is just how much strength we show when at our weakest.
it's in those moments of complete despair,
those moments of uncertainty,
those moments of - fear,
that we offer up our most sincere us.
when everything that confines -
restricts -
disables -
is stripped away -
then,
and only then,
can we come to terms with what defines us.
and sometimes,
even when we wish it were not so,
we find ourselves holding hands with hope.
and as hard as we try -
despite the diligence of our no -
the perseverance of our will,
to not -
we care...
in that moment we understand the blessing.
in that perfect moment -
we appreciate the gift.
what feeling more complete than joy from pain -
smiles from tears -
accommodation of shelter -
when lost and oh so lonely -
abandoned (it seems) -
in the rain...
deconstruction
you speak to me –
only with your eyes –
simple glance my way,
sensational as the shiver that a whisper brings…
so gracefully,
into my thoughts,
you settle in –
wrap the everything you are
around the all of what I am;
(only skin can understand close).
and while I may be nestled in
my barricade of –
survival,
you oh so effortlessly –
(leaves understand inability)
pull apart my walls of self-defense –
deconstruct my self-destruction…
compelling –
you are –
enticing me to fly on wings of possibility –
but I sit idle –
unable to escape from my cocoon –
(what is more splendid than butterfly wings?)
and watch,
what could be,
walk emphatically away!
undeserving
entangled in
my now -
entwined within
my what-will-be,
you...
an anchor fastened to my heart -
essential as even -
air.
what was life before
you -
who drew the line
between indifferent -
and necessary?
was there sunlight -
or did the night - so nonchalant
just close his eyes -
allowing day...
i cherish moments
filled with oh-so--much of you,
grateful -
yet undeserving...
abandon
i fear
that i will never understand from what authority –
you disallow?
how ludicrous –
the signs you post –
inscribed with such callous – un-intent!
sad,
it must be –
unable to respond –
responsible to guilt –
imprisoned inside a tomb – of should…
and while your hope floats away,
upon a breeze of – nonchalance –
my – could –
remains captive –
bound by chains unseen –
victim to your abrupt,
yet rehearsed,
abandon!
Accoutrements of Irrelevance
indiscriminate -
obtrusive -
the frustration of a reality unintended.
what purpose creation -
ownership of concept -
if allowed to be flawed?
to try to understand the purpose of life without accepting the eventuality of death is frivolous - fictitious.
what would define hope if everything imagined was real -
tangible?
what reason would there be for faith in a world lacking supposition?
so often we raise our voice -
scream callous denigration's -
to anyone that deviates from our predetermined paradigms of socially accepted behavior. and if our articulation of doctrine fails to assuage the masses,
we reach into our arsenal of jurisprudence -
recite with zealous intent retributions from apocrypha's of self-assumed conviction...
in the end -
judgment.
regardless action without faith -
faith without action -
submission to the author of creation stands paramount to absolution.
and yet i see you standing there -
self-imposed elevation -
placing accoutrements of irrelevance on the scale of (un)belief...
epitaphs of discontent
we wear our coats of like.
dust off our eager shoes -
step into the arena of ego.
impatiently aware of how we look in the mirror of our suppose.
with disregard for others want,
we impose our need-to-be.
consideration -
program from the pageant of youth -
crumpled,
thrown out the window.
how quickly we become -
undone;
companion to indifference.
no compromise.
no regret.
determined to win the race -
regardless the casualties.
and even now -
with sunset inviting darkness,
we light one more candle.
no time for rest.
insatiable -
our appetite for admiration.
just one more round of applause.
one more like -
clicked on sad page of immaterial.
and recklessly -
with impetuous abandon -
we (without knowing) write epitaphs of discontent -
chiseled in stone (alone).
our un-intention -
our demise.
and from this dreamless sleep,
no waking...
of supposition and meaning undefined…
words.
taken out of context can magnify,
or crucify.
peace and war initiated within the same collection of letters –
assembly,
the defining variable.
so much of who we are finds animation from our expression –
dialect –
inflection.
spoken,
read –
punctuated and pronounced.
emotion born within the simplicity of a syllable.
intention misconstrued.
passion pursued.
ignorance and genius separated ever so slightly.
fascinating –
the way we communicate before learning how to speak.
initiating interaction outside the paradigms of language.
and then –
acquiring intelligence –
we articulate our thoughts –
bring to life suppose and possibly –
as we struggle to declare opinion.
and yet –
regardless our intention –
fail to say exactly how we feel…
nothing
we hold on to our pain –
sometimes the only thing we feel –
scared to let it go,
afraid of – nothing…
empty –
a vessel of capability,
unfilled;
hands reaching for intention,
unrecognized…
so cold – the absence
of light;
no darkness more deep
than feeling all alone.
on wearing your frown…
i found myself –
upon the shore –
gazing in your eyes –
calm –
deep water.
i wanted you to know me –
feel my presence.
without – hesitation –
or reservation –
i tossed the stone…
ripples –
endless waves –
flowing outward.
and even if i wanted –
i could not stop them –
or even withdraw the effect
of my most curious touch
on your enigmatic mind!
forgiveness
words.
sometimes spoken in haste.
with deliberation we close our eyes –
hurl them like rocks against tin roofs.
perhaps its the sound of our frustration we need to hear.
regardless the damage resulting from the storm.
words.
sometimes captured –
corralled within the confines of black and white supposition.
less likely to be misread,
yet more available for misinterpretation –
inflection lost within the paradigms of silence.
words.
too many.
too few.
platform of inference.
epitaph of indifference.
how many moments of magnificent because of;
emotions subjugated by too few?
when compelled by conviction,
we manipulate monologues in an attempt to solicit solidarity.
our truth –
perfect;
our opinion –
unalienable.
and if,
by chance,
our doctrines met with opposition,
we fail to contemplate opportunity for conformity.
how sad –
to misunderstand the significance of the chaos!
of course –
life free of turmoil –
epitome of peace-on-earth –
preferred method of presentation.
but life survived in spite of;
experience of calm after the storm;
amazing spectacle of sunrise –
chasing demons of darkness into the light;
surely that contrast allows ownership of appreciation.
less likely are we,
in our human condition,
to take blessings for granted,
after spending time on our knees seeking recompense for behavior undeserving of even the presumption of forgiveness…
standing too close to the edge 