things unneeded fill our days –
like possibly,
perhaps,
maybe…
how often do we put aside
what matters,
holding our breath –
clinching our hands,
expecting even Atlas to shrug –
for what?
a hand we feel compelled to hold?
replies to questions – unheard?
as callous as forget,
intangible as why –
we build our lives on
could,
should –
then wonder what went wrong
when trapped in lonely –
unremembered as even midnight
by pompous dawn!
entangled in
my now-
entwined within
my what-will-be,
you…
an anchor fastened to my heart-
essential as even-
air.
what was life before
you-
who drew the line
between indifferent-
and necessary?
was there sunlight-
or did the night – so nonchalant
just close his eyes-
allowing day…
i cherish moments
filled with oh-so-much of you,
grateful-
yet undeserving…
flimsy as maybe –
unstable as if –
your promise floats above me,
just out of reach…
perhaps you feel the effort
more important than the feel,
suppose – more necessary than real.
intentions – undefined –
your non-touch
un-opens me.
while you roam effortlessly from your dreams,
you keep me tightly clasped –
to mine…
ice is forming –
on the windows –
now.
i hear the whistle of the wind –
its song,
so sad!
everywhere –
in cold secluded –
silence.
every-thing –
captured
within grey!
no longer do the birds
in joyful chorus-
sing happily their songs.
their words lie frozen –
broken as the surface of the sky.
i touch the glass –
to wipe the discontent away –
to see if i may find you there –
peering in –
desperation eyes –
searching –
longing!
but i find only lonely shades of winter –
placid as the frozen sea –
of your indifference!
dangling –
here –
mere inches from release,
terrified to lose control!
pondering –
the forward,
and reverse –
confused,
unsure…
what if i take the step –
will my footing hold?
the edge is much too close,
and i am yet afraid…
that nothing will replace
the insignificance i have become,
and i’ll fall –
headlong –
into less than –
something.
un-missed,
a stone thrown in the pond –
so small –
no sound,
no tell-tale –
ripples!
solitude –
precursor to loneliness.
disassociation of self –
from soul.
plunged head first –
into this desolation…
where do you turn to find
acceptance –
what price – the need?
compassion comes,
but not without cost.
smiles –
transparent,
masking pain –
unrealized.
abandon –
cruel nemesis to faith,
prevails –
hurt sustains!
my feelings –
alien to you as much as – secure is to timid,
shatter like shards of glass against your narcissistic walls…
how awesome,
it must be –
being you;
how – required!
pompous as an apostrophe –
owning possession,
and the power to unite –
yet completely – unaffected!
and while you dangle effortless,
unencumbered –
I remain tied to the weight of my own culpability.
necessary,
you are –
more than any imagined ownership.
for without you,
meaning is lost;
and I become irrelevant as a useless preposition –
alone – without the companion of my most reluctant ,
yet oh so necessary –
object…
My friend – you touch me deeper than the sun,
And every smile you smile fills up my soul!
With you it matters not what I have done,
For all my dreams you’ve taken and made whole!
Before your touch my life was closing fast,
But then you came and opened up the door.
Now all my insecurities have passed,
I’ve found with you a life and so much more!
You’ve brought the sun and rolled the clouds away,
And I can see new hopes and dreams ahead.
I’ll never wonder what to do or say,
Because with you all thanks can go unsaid!
If I had one small gift to give to you –
To find in me – what I have found in you!
shackled by the awesomeness of you –
i stand in shadow –
waiting for the lightening crash,
the thunder roll,
the storm – inevitable – to pass…
there is no – just because –
with you,
no almost –
no doubt!
you oh so effortlessly over-fill the cup,
sweep the refuse from the waste
of – nearly –
aside.
walk right up to indecision –
unafraid –
un-denied!
if i could have one wish –
one dream come true –
to be as much as even half of you –
to run through fields of confidence,
toss chaos to the wind,
open – with purpose –
the pages of life –
release the doubt,
the fear of – not enough!
for just one day –
to be the – axis,
not merely the passenger –
the reason,
no longer – just the after thought…
wanting more than less –
needing more than have –
i find my life in shadow,
standing still…
consumed by doubt –
entombed within the walls of disbelief –
i feel the madness creep
into my living,
forcing me to contemplate my fate.
do i seek refuge here
in dying’s harbor?
commit to nothing –
become un-done?
how simple then,
the letting go –
no need –
for need,
no longing –
to belong…
so sweet the peace that
must come with the passing.
so great the un-weight,
un-encumbered –
un-entwined –
the soul,
aged captive –
finally free…
standing too close to the edge 