you hide behind your – suppose –

as if it were a shroud,

seemingly unaware of the audacity –

imposed by your flagrant transparency…

how awkward –

meeting here like this –

exposing all my is,

to find it wasted effort to your – presume!

when did the lines become so blurred?

boundaries,

redefined?

we used to travel the same path –

shared the same – once upon a time…

dangling now –

contemplating the letting go –

while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.

surely there is no sadness more intense

than dying –

without death!

far deeper than any touch,

much more real,

than feel –

unlike whispers

fading into the air,

carried away too soon –

you are the – air!

all inclusive,

pervasive as nightfall –

you seep into every pore of my being,

filling every cavity of my soul!

i drink you in –

the thirst never satisfied,

and so i must return,

time and again,

to your most pensive fountain!

hope lingers in the doorway –

wisp of cigarette smoke

escaping into the dark of night…

you there –

silhouette in the shadows –

enticing me with silent promises

(your eyes have stories to tell)…

i followed you –

once –

unafraid – yet anxious –

into the heart of – unknown –

beneath a star-less sky –

right up to the door of – what if.

(how can you enter without a key?)

scared –

suddenly aware –

(naked as full moon)

how could i continue on?

(oh so tight the chains of insecure).

innocence – sacrificed.

unaware made – poignantly – aware!

you are my secret pleasure –

ember of a fire i cannot resist –

warmth i crave,

yet unable to survive the heat!

(like the moth to the flame)

flimsy as maybe –

unstable as if –

your promise floats above me,

just out of reach…

perhaps you feel the effort

more important than the feel,

suppose – more necessary than real.

intentions – undefined –

your non-touch

un-opens me.

while you roam effortlessly from your dreams,

you keep me tightly clasped –

to mine…

indignant –

compassion starved from

insatiable insensitivity…

how can there be justification

for callous abandon?

all too often it seems we

close doors,

build walls,

create barricades –

manipulate emotions to protect our hearts from hurt,

yet find,

in the end,

our – selves – starving for a touch –

gentle caress…

friendship –

sweet reprieve for our emaciated souls –

never realized!

i long to be the – oh –

the – wow –

exhilarating gasp of – awe,

in an otherwise quiet room!

to be that –

suspect,

that –

even remotely – considered.

to be –

consumed –

as breath –

entering in –

and back out again.

unassuming,

yet essential –

inasmuch as believe,

to dream…

you are that –

Deity –

on which i hang

(effortlessly)

my hope.

demagogue to champion compassion.

and i –

your willing martyr!

i hear your sadness

screaming through the silence…

big sky –

little moon –

somewhere on the other side of my world,

you –

behind the clouds…

what absence do you run from –

what darkness terror

keeps you locked away?

safe inside your guarded walls

i cannot reach you…

what feeling worse than lonely –

what pain more real than

breaking heart,

outstretched hand – empty –

unanswered prayer…

broken still –

emotion spilled into a void –

longing cuts like shards of glass –

the soul…

you are my pain,

and passion,

self-contained!

oh my duplicitous Pygmalion!

while you were sleeping,

i was years away…

… trapped,

as you would say –

contained within my pre-assembled tomb of ambiguity.

but there is where i find –

i,

my – me…

and while you walk in circles

around my truth,

expecting walls of nonchalance to crumble,

i smile –

free of your contagious animosity…

how simply –

archaic!

your words,

so fervent in their request to be my savior –

however,

your eyes do not invite –

and your clinched fists can never hold these trembling hands…