from here to there

and back again,

(past the other side of now – to then)…

(trees hold their memories;

knots and scars,

an aged leaf holding on past it’s season…)

what is it –

about a winters day –

takes you to that place;

serene,

un-compromised –

a smile with no qualification,

peace of mind…

(squirrels know the trees’ secrets),

to sit –

for hours in the mid-day sun –

contemplating –

nothing…

oh the rush!

(and still the dying leaf – holds on…)

once upon a – not so long ago;

before the now,

was then,

soon after that first,

hello…

(Eden – well,

at least some acceptable facsimile),

there was a you, i knew –

and a me you,

although – reluctantly, allowed admittance…

why is it – in the light –

all demons – disappear?

aren’t they – by nature – invincible?

if can’t is not allowed to become is,

what then?

this timid soul does not possess the strength to slay

even the most subtle dragon,

and nowhere in the manual of supposition

is there an option – to just – be!

indignant –

of you to assume!

your judgment falls like hail upon the road –

undisclosed to one –

further along the journey!

unable,

to define the reason

for the need –

incapable of justifying cause.

restrained within a room of solitude,

dreamless sleep,

from which,

no waking!

intermittently,

like sun through broken clouds,

i realize the dawn –

sweet recompense for midnight’s darkness –

and there –

on the horizon,

you –

resplendent in your wholesome goodness –

savior from this insanity…

oh to be that breath of air

you take; essential as – must,

to have…

to enter into – the all of you –

to become as close,

as one –

to two…

if just for one moment –

to live in your thoughts –

feel the memories –

encounter your – you!

i would give a thousand

could of been’s –

for just one – is,

a lifetime of – life –

for a moment of – living…

oh how must it feel –

for once,

to not be the addict;

merely the addiction!

inside my head,

the thoughts of you –

collect like raindrops in a sieve…

i cannot hold them,

so they fall in puddles

on the floor…

saturated with these feelings,

i fear the levy soon will break,

and i’ll pour out upon my self.

if so released –

where will i run?

all i’ve ever known of life

is how to be restrained.

you de-construct all my defenses,

thaw this soul –

frozen from a lack of touch,

a life of discontent.

i wonder,

with those liquid pools of comfort,

how it is –

you cannot see –

the magnitude of what you mean to me…

strong,

secure –

you are the very thread

of the fabric of my sanity!