unable to –

un-feel,

forget,

dismiss…

unable to un-know!

how is it – life,

my friend?

how does it – feel –

to feel?

is there really a difference

between night,

and merely the absence of light?

desperately –

i cling –

to words,

un-said.

tread water much too deep to swim –

consume my thoughts with

imagined – resolution…

saved?

forgiven?

by whose authority?

i understand the contrast

between right –

wrong;

your – judgement –

however –

exacerbates my un-intent!

working through the pain that has become my life.

stepping carefully on the thin ice of truth,

fragile –

cold.

so hard to strip away the shell – layer upon layer,

so hard to face the lies –

confront the fears.

alone –

i stand – vulnerable, insecure,

afraid.

alone – i fall upon myself – weak,

unable to face the reality of –

honesty!

suddenly you appear –

strength –

holding in your hand –

a single – match.

what will you do with all the power?

confused –

anxious –

i watch you start the fire –

feel the heat –

feel the ice melting…

exposed –

unrestrained –

i give away all doubt –

throw caution to the very wind that feeds the flame…

i let my life melt into yours –

forgetting all the pain –

all the burns and scars of hurt –

you cover me,

a desert –

for the first time –

feeling rain!

working through the pain that has become my life.

stepping carefully on the thin ice of truth,

fragile –

cold.

so hard to strip away the shell – layer upon layer,

so hard to face the lies –

confront the fears.

alone –

i stand – vulnerable, insecure,

afraid.

alone – i fall upon myself – weak,

unable to face the reality of –

honesty!

suddenly you appear –

strength –

holding in your hand –

a single – match.

what will you do with all the power?

confused –

anxious –

i watch you start the fire –

feel the heat –

feel the ice melting…

exposed –

unrestrained –

i give away all doubt –

throw caution to the very wind that feeds the flame…

i let my life melt into yours –

forgetting all the pain –

all the burns and scars of hurt –

you cover me,

a desert –

for the first time –

feeling rain!

entangled in

my now –

entwined within

my what-will-be,

you…

an anchor fastened to my heart –

essential as even –

air.

what was life before

you –

who drew the line

between indifferent –

and necessary?

was there sunlight –

or did the night – so nonchalant

just close his eyes –

allowing day…

i cherish moments

filled with oh-so-much of you,

grateful –

yet undeserving…

can’t take a small nowhere,
when somewhere grand – I am!
can’t unknow – the knowing,
abandon – belief!

if living is dying –
and death sets us free,
why captive – this me –
just – alive?

erroneous,
agree?
uncontained – we imagine,
yet imprisoned – are we…

my feelings –

alien to you as much as – secure is to timid,

shatter like shards of glass against your narcissistic walls…

how awesome,

it must be –

being  you;

how – required!

pompous as an apostrophe –

owning possession,

and the power to unite –

yet completely – unaffected!

and while you dangle effortless,

unencumbered –

I remain tied to the weight of my own culpability.

necessary,

you are –

more than any imagined ownership.

for without you,

meaning is lost;

and I become irrelevant as a useless preposition –

alone  –  without the companion of my most reluctant ,

yet oh so necessary –

object…

i enjoy you –

as much as great,

as deep as sky…

i drink you in,

submerge myself

in your smile –

lose my way,

in the deepness of your eyes!

time stands still,

when i’m with you –

reality redefined –

you speak my name,

and worlds collide…

how can i sleep,

dare close my eyes and find you gone when waking?

this fragile heart would surely break

if suddenly alone,

detached…

without  you,

i would simply cease to be…

greater than want,

you are,

so much more than necessary!

incidental

yet so real –

to not be seen,

in ones recovery…

enigmatic as sight

must seem,

to one who cannot see!

how did the great,

become –

recumbent,

good?

night used to shower us in starlight;

prelude to morning sun…

ostentatious as full-moon!

but now,

there is no hole in the shroud of darkness…

and finding our – selves –

all alone,

intensifies the insecurity…

life raft – lost at sea.

addiction,

without the comfort of –

an addict!