hiding behind the …

my feelings –
alien to you as much as – secure is to timid,
shatter like shards of glass against your narcissistic walls…
 
how awesome,
it must be –
being you;
how – required!
 
pompous as an apostrophe –
owning possession,
and the power to unite –
yet completely – unaffected!
 
and while you dangle effortless,
unencumbered –
I remain tied to the weight of my own culpability.
 
necessary,
you are –
more than any imagined ownership.
for without you,
meaning is lost;
and I become irrelevant as a useless preposition –
alone – without the companion of my most reluctant,
 
yet oh so necessary –
object…
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the gift

 

life has a way of teaching lessons when appropriate,

not always when we feel the need to learn.

for some of us,

humility is much too restrictive –

a garment we feel inappropriate –

out of style.

funny,

don’t you think –

self-proclaimed autonomy?

 


we decide who wins –

who loses?

how condescending and disproportionately opaque!

 


our goal,

fervent desire,

should be to live a life transparent.

or even somewhat magnified.

allowing more light to escape than that which enters in.

to learn the greatest gift,

 

comes when we comprehend the blessing we receive from giving…

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somewhat grey

incidental
yet so real –
to not be seen,
in ones recovery…
 
enigmatic as sight
must seem,
to one who cannot see!
 
how did the great,
become –
recumbent,
good?
 
night used to shower us in starlight;
prelude to morning sun…
ostentatious as full-moon!
but now,
there is no hole in the shroud of darkness…
and finding our – selves –
all alone,
intensifies the insecurity…
 
life raft – lost at sea.
addiction,
without the comfort of –
an addict!
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loneliness (part 1)

and i –
your heroin have become.
accoutrement of discontent –
the pain you feel – no one –
can understand…
 
emphatic –
to the definition of all alone –
you cling with defiance to your pain,
darkness – attached to night…
 
i wonder –
in your room of disallowed,
do shadows fall?
or is – perhaps – the sorrow so profound
no light dare enter in?
 
no setting sun.
no rising moon.
no longer stars in your midnight sky –
merely holes,
allowing darkness in…
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faith

sitting on the shore –
watching reflections on the water;
yellow sun,
blue sky –
solitary bird flying into the horizon…
 
how small –
am i –
in a world so big,
how insignificant…
 
why do i wake?
routinely do the things i do?
for what purpose?
 
i throw a stone into the water –
causing ripples –
disturbing the placid serenity –
and for a moment – i am known!
but the water is deep,
my pebble – oh so small –
and once again –
the surface still…
 
i cannot believe that there is no tomorrow –
no sunrise chasing night –
no need to – believe…
 
for surely –
God – in all his greatness –
created more than this small holder of dreams –
and even when i cease to be –
in this place –
i will most surely – rise again!
 
great is my faith –
oh so strong my belief!
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the same as – always – us

imagine this –
touch,
without feel…
 
un-know
the un-truth
that all at once, no longer matters.
for,
gone is now –
the yesterday of your –
tomorrow;
the – reality – of your – is…
 
subtle,
don’t you think?
the way it,
becomes was?
and yet we feel,
the same as – always – us!
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gregarious – assiduous – raisonde’tre; You…

incidentally –
you,
reconstruct the broken –
remand the lies, to truth…
 
effortless as –
breathe,
yet more required!
tangible –
yet restrained.
unassumingly – understanding…
 
how is it –
there can be – debate,
supposition,
disbelief,
in the plausibility of my need,
for your existence?
 
unobtrusive as dawn,
you force the darkness into light.
eliminate – might.
replace – could-be – with is!
 
captive,
am i –
paralyzed by your compassion.
in awe –
of your most enigmatic –
consideration!
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silence in the pause

lost –
somewhere between used-to-be,
and now.
stumbling over words – unsaid…
where did it go,
the want to –
the have-to-have –
the so much more than just enough?
 
unrecognized – now.
frayed-edged photos fading into forgotten snapshots of was.
echo’s of laughter,
diminished by the somber cadence of time…
 
and from eyes once flowing waterfalls of light,
not one single tear.
 
listen –
hear the loneliness in the pause –
between the life of my hello –
and the death by implication,
in the absence of your goodbye.
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selfish

agenda’s.
segments of life planned with purpose – intent.
audacious.
implied autonomy over purpose.
sometimes events follow sequence.
sometimes –
the train they occupy ends up derailed.
and while we stop to gather up the broken pieces of should,
we realize with discontent the ignorance of our assume.
more valuable –
deposits of relevance made to banks of could,
rather than wasted on accoutrements of selfishly worn suppose.
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when no birds sing…

poems.

thoughts splattered like visual graffiti on the walls of imagination.

some acute.

some profound.

some with less than good intention.

most – often overlooked, 

unless stumbled upon –

whispers of wisdom drowned by the shouts of tempestuous mediocrity.

 

and here,

on the shore of my life’s ocean,

footprints ending in the surf,

shells –

hollow – 

withholding memories never shared…

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