entangled in

my now –

entwined within

my what-will-be,

you…

an anchor fastened to my heart –

essential as even –

air.

what was life before

you –

who drew the line

between indifferent –

and necessary?

was there sunlight –

or did the night – so nonchalant

just close his eyes –

allowing day…

i cherish moments

filled with oh-so-much of you,

grateful –

yet undeserving…

the place we sometimes journey to –

is much too dark to stay,

too far away for words,

more deep than sound –

profound as black on white,

or even still,

the very absence of light…

attempting once again to feel,

we dive head first into the –

nothing,

to somehow feel the splash –

of something…

as delicate as if,

more frail than why –

the sanity we seek to find,

evasive –

hides behind the clouds,

that clutter the skyline of our mind!

indignant –

compassion starved from

insatiable insensitivity…

how can there be justification

for callous abandon?

all too often it seems we

close doors,

build walls,

create barricades –

manipulate emotions to protect our hearts from hurt,

yet find,

in the end,

our – selves – starving for a touch –

gentle caress…

friendship –

sweet reprieve for our emaciated souls!

i long to be – to you –

all that you have become –

to me…

that first sliver of sun at dawn,

or the twinkle of twilight’s

first star…

if only i could fill your world with wonderful,

exceptional –

smother you with fantastic,

awesomely – amazing…

if even for one solitary second

i could be

that which flows through your veins –

fills your heart –

gives you life,

how great the rush –

to be considered something so essential –

so necessary!

as much as air –

as incidental as day –

i long to be the impulse for your smile,

casual sigh,

the beat your heart skips…

everything to –

you –

to me –

you are…

where are you hiding,

ray of light?

i closed my eyes –

just for a moment,

and you were gone…

where did you run to,

with my could?

you leave me here –

holding only my might…

once upon a time –

far away –

long ago –

possibly stopped by,

but i,

too encumbered with couldn’t,

didn’t try to entertain…

now my here is dark,

and oh so lonely!

no promise of dawn –

no full moon bright to cast even a shadow…

discordant,

the music in my head –

but in my heart,

only the sound of breaking –

– glass – through which i

can see,

but never feel the touch –

preeminent misconception –

lonely,

does not rely on being –

alone…

days – there are –

sun shining,

not a single solitary cloud in the sky.

yet – shadows,

deep as midnight darkness –

(secrets hide in the dark,

gnashing their teeth –

overly animated and eager.)

at what moment did you decide –

indifference?

what memory – un-suppressed –

tipped the scale?

yesterday is mine.

holding your hand.

strolling through – uncertainty –

certain!

(i cannot explain sadness –

even gravity cannot hold so tight!).

if – as easy as making a wish –

you would come true –

i would not be on this bridge –

(solace when touching deep water…)

angry at myself for the need –

yet unable to refrain…

inadequacy:

the most un–healable pain!

i feel the sadness in the air –

thick dark clouds concealing the sun –

a tapestry of despair – blocking out all light –

and heavy,

the weight of my sorrow…

where did it go – my youth?

how fleeting the time has passed –

and my journey seems close to its end…

i will not fear –

the un-becoming;

this soul is aged –

this body,

tired from the travel –

and i can finally see –

on the horizon –

new hope,

new possibilities…

this is not the end of my journey,

merely time to change into something a little more

comfortable,

for the flight home…

i feel the sadness in the air –

thick dark clouds concealing the sun –

a tapestry of despair – blocking out all light –

and heavy,

the weight of my sorrow…

where did it go – my youth?

how fleeting the time has passed –

and my journey seems close to its end…

i will not fear –

the un-becoming;

this soul is aged –

this body,

tired from the travel –

and i can finally see –

on the horizon –

new hope,

new possibilities…

this is not the end of my journey,

merely time to change into something a little more

comfortable,

for the flight home…

that which you are –

intrigues me –

the depth of your eyes,

a vortex that pulls me in –

the warmth of your smile enlightens me…

wherever i go –

you go –

for i carry you in my heart.

irreplaceable as light –

delight more grand than sound

to one who cannot hear –

i keep you near,

cornerstone of every dream…

more than – just enough,

intrusive as – is –

merely hearing your voice throws chaos to the wind –

and when we touch –

my entire existence bends!

you are the air –

mere breath i long to breathe!