those days are here again –

when i’m alone –

clinging to the threads of

my existence,

     falling fast!

those days are here again –

when you are gone –

and everywhere i turn,

i find the emptiness,

the lonely shadow.

where are you now –

these sleepless nights,

these lifeless days?

where have you run

to find yourself?

you leave me –

losing mine!

un-found –

not lost –

the difference in the 

absence of belonging…

longing for –

that which you cannot have –

smile returned,

touch received,

void filled…

alone –

i was –

before i thought you found me,

long before i dreamed you –

cared,

believed…

how easy to release –

it seems,

regardless how far the fall –

not even the absence of a net deters the craving…

this lonely life – spent in the shadows,

eyes open,

scanning the horizon –

knees bent –

prayers sent –

all in vain!

your footsteps echo down the corridor,

long passageway of lonely –

leading you away –

from me –

all things good un-gravitate –

un-attach –

leave me –

undefined,

un-entwined with life…

need –

grasping at threads of hope –

a breeze merely blows away…

to be the somebody you want me to be,

i’d have to let go of the nobody i am…

to find my way up from the bottom of down,

requires more rope –

a stronger knot…

you –

my friend –

are not aware –

your disassociation creates grey –

space unfilled –

water much too deep to wade –

too wide to swim –

and your strong hands,

will not build a bridge…

all alone is too much sad –

the absence of touch,

a feeling i wish i never had…

incidental

yet so real –

to not be seen,

in ones recovery…

enigmatic as sight

must seem,

to one who cannot see!

how did the great,

become –

recumbent,

good?

night used to shower us in starlight;

prelude to morning sun…

ostentatious as full-moon!

but now,

there is no hole in the shroud of darkness…

and finding our – selves –

all alone,

intensifies the insecurity…

life raft – lost at sea.

addiction,

without the comfort of –

an addict!

mis-conception.

intent,

mis-construed…

what can you possibly possess

to conquer the threat of complacency

when burning bridges remove even the rumor of retreat?

stranded now, in the light –

how will you hide your insecurity?

you truly believe in clarity –

life free from the obnubilation of despair?

indignant, 

you have become –

consumed by your obtrude self-deprecation.

un-justified –

un-worthy.

insignificant as light,

to one that cannot see…

safe –

you think –

behind your wall of – why,

hiding from no one –

but – yourself…

is it the light you flee?

afraid to – see?

or rather,

to be seen?

so easily you cling to presume,

as if it were your shield,

completely – unaware –

the truth you fear

merely shackles you with regret –

blinds you from seeing,

it is that which ultimately,

sets you free.

oh my duplicitous Pygmalion!

while you were sleeping,

i was years away…

… trapped,

as you would say –

contained within my pre-assembled tomb of ambiguity.

but there is where i find –

i,

my – me…

and while you walk in circles

around my truth,

expecting walls of nonchalance to crumble,

i smile –

free of your contagious animosity…

how simply –

archaic!

your words,

so fervent in their request to be my savior –

however,

your eyes do not invite –

and your clinched fists can never hold these trembling hands…