i long to be the – oh –

the – wow –

exhilarating gasp of – awe,

in an otherwise quiet room!

to be that –

suspect,

that –

even remotely – considered.

to be –

consumed –

as breath –

entering in –

and back out again.

unassuming,

yet essential –

inasmuch as believe,

to dream…

you are that –

Deity –

on which i hang

(effortlessly)

my hope.

demagogue to champion compassion.

and i –

your willing martyr!

white –

black –

defined by labels –

pigeon-holed by circumstance…

absurd,

the very notion,

character defined merely from sight!

i choose –

instead –

to look beyond pigmented-boundaries –

beneath the surface,

you and i are much the same…

indignant –

it would be of me,

to look at you and only see a color –

skin can be so thin,

stretched much too tight –

unable to protect the heart from barbs of prejudice…

i seek a life less cumbersome,

devoid of hate,

where you and i could contemplate our feelings –

free to follow paths defined by hearts,

unrestrained by paradigms of ethnicity,

or race!

unable –

sad word –

thrown carelessly into the wind…

inability –

chosen –

not a consequence,

rather,

a decision…

you take from me all that you need –

leave hulls of hope scattered on the floor –

and i am just too weak from wanting more

to sweep,

or even care!

un-found –

not lost –

the difference in the

absence of belonging… 

longing for –

that which you cannot have –

smile returned,

touch received,

void filled… 

alone –

i was –

before i thought you found me,

long before i dreamed you –

cared,

believed… 

how easy to release –

it seems,

regardless how far the fall –

not even the absence of a net deters the craving… 

this lonely life – spent in the shadows,

eyes open,

scanning the horizon –

knees bent –

prayers sent –

all in vain! 

your footsteps echo down the corridor,

long passageway of lonely –

leading you away – 

from me –

all things good un-gravitate –

un-attach – 

leave me –

undefined,

un-entwined with life… 

need –

grasping at threads of hope –

a breeze merely blows away…

words unsaid –

touch un-felt –

promises, not made –

unbroken…

just how deep is too deep –

how real?

too real?

what is the penalty for touch –

instead of feel?

deep the water from your shore –

dark reservoir of intrigue –

and that safe room – behind your eyes –

illusive as – seems…

i would give a thousand – knows,

a million – haves –

for just one moment of your time –

(to understand, not assume)

dreams – i weave –

realities – i conceive –

engulfed within the enigma of you…

ethereal –

you are to me –

miles from ordinary!

feelings placed on hold –

access –

denied.

what do you do when

doors are closed –

no goodbyes?

longing eats a hole

in sanity’s – reality –

words cannot be – unsaid,

feelings – un-felt…

regret –

an evil unparalleled –

compounded by cruel rejection…

the tender heart lies broken,

compassion lost –

abandon feels like midnight dark,

dying all alone…

beneath it all –

even below the ever  growing pile of discontent…

layered,

ever so patiently –

my defense.

(scar-tissue effect)…

time passes;

and just as quickly as a borrowed breath – returned,

this now,

becomes our was…

what of it,

then?

false hope clinging in vain to should?

if we are less than everything allowed,

why – be – at all?

oh!

i suppose there could be desire to rise above,

but even birds with broken wings

never forget how it feels to fly…