i found myself –

upon the shore –

gazing in your eyes –

calm –

deep water.

i wanted you to know me –

feel my presence.

without – hesitation –

or reservation –

i tossed the stone…

ripples –

endless waves –

flowing outward.

and even if i wanted –

i could not stop them –

or even withdraw the effect

of my most curious touch

on your enigmatic mind!

unable,

to define the reason

for the need –

incapable of justifying cause.

restrained within a room of solitude,

dreamless sleep,

from which,

no waking!

intermittently,

like sun through broken clouds,

i realize the dawn –

sweet recompense for midnight’s darkness –

and there –

on the horizon,

you –

resplendent in your wholesome goodness –

savior from this insanity…

possibly

sits on the couch with

his good friend –

could be.

together they –

oh so carefully (ocd) –

plan,

nothing…

(if nothings in order, there can be no – something).

and somewhere on the other side

of what-could-be –

sunrise!

(you know, getting past the mountain of can’t…).

i understand the feeling

of a rose blooming.

the sheer exuberance of life – unfolding;

exaltation –

joy,

un-paralleled –

truly,

living!

(most awesome of all experiences!)

preeminent misconception –

lonely,

does not rely on being –

alone…

days – there are –

sun shining,

not a single solitary cloud in the sky.

yet – shadows,

deep as midnight darkness –

(secrets hide in the dark,

gnashing their teeth –

overly animated and eager.)

at what moment did you decide –

indifference?

what memory – unsuppressed –

tipped the scale?

yesterday is mine.

holding your hand.

strolling through – uncertainty –

certain!

(i cannot explain sadness –

even gravity cannot hold so tight!).

if – as easy as making a wish –

you would come true –

i would not be on this bridge –

(solace when touching deep water…)

angry at myself for the need –

yet unable to refrain…

inadequacy:

the most un-healable pain!

into this fragile body –

we are poured –

un-rippled –

as light spilling through a window,

given life –

we all too soon –

take for granted.

marvelous,

don’t you think –

the awesome act of –

living?

it’s relevance,

accentuated by

the alternative!

incidentally –

you,

reconstruct the broken –

remand the lies, to truth…

effortless as –

breath,

yet more required!

tangible –

yet restrained.

unassumingly – understanding…

how is it –

there can be – debate,

supposition,

disbelief,

in the plausibility of my need,

for your existence?

unobtrusive as dawn,

you force the darkness into light.

eliminate – might.

replace – could-be – with is!

captive,

am i –

paralyzed by your compassion.

in awe –

of your most enigmatic –

consideration!

is – does not understand,

could –

(possibility – not yet defined?).

inside the paradigms of his reality,

now is real.

(if you have now, was no longer matters).

how odd –

to be,

yesterday.

quite full of what was,

and what mattered,

and even – what if,

but never as necessary,

or as current,

as – what is!

sad,

don’t you think?

requiems for want,

not yet realized;

but not one single tear for had…

(how quickly we forget).