imagine this –

touch,

without feel…

un-know

the un-truth

that all at once, no longer matters.

for,

gone is now –

the yesterday of your –

tomorrow;

the – reality – of your – is…

subtle,

don’t you think?

the way it,

becomes was?

and yet we feel,

the same as – always – us!

is – does not understand,

could –

(possibility – not yet defined?).

inside the paradigms of his reality,

now is real.

(if you have now, was no longer matters).

how odd –

to be,

yesterday.

quite full of what was,

and what mattered,

and even – what if,

but never as necessary,

or as current,

as – what is!

sad,

don’t you think?

requiems for want,

not yet realized;

but not one single tear for had…

(how quickly we forget).

what i saw in you –

i needed to see in me.

and what i felt for you –

was what was missing from my life.

like a hand given –

but not taken,

a glance –

not returned…

desperation –

a weight – too heavy for this heart to hold,

chains of bondage –

locked tight,

and you,

the key!

working through the pain that has become my life.

stepping carefully on the thin ice of truth,

fragile –

cold.

so hard to strip away the shell –

layer upon layer,

so hard to face the lies –

confront the fears.

alone –

i stand – vulnerable, insecure,

afraid.

alone –

i fall upon myself – weak,

unable to face the reality of –

honesty!

suddenly you appear – strength –

holding in your hand –

a single – match.

what will you do with all the power?

confused –

anxious –

i watch you start the fire –

feel the heat –

feel the ice melting…

exposed –

unrestrained –

i give away all doubt –

throw caution to the very wind that feeds the flame…

i let my life melt into yours –

forgetting all the pain –

all the burns and scars of hurt –

     you cover me

     a desert –

     for the first time –

     feeling rain!

indignant –

compassion starved from

insatiable insensitivity…

how can there be justification

for callous abandon?

all too often it seems we

close doors,

build walls,

create barricades –

manipulate emotions to protect our hearts from hurt,

yet find,

in the end,

our – selves – starving for a touch –

gentle caress…

friendship –

sweet reprieve for our emaciated souls!  

unable –

sad word –

thrown carelessly into the wind…

inability –

chosen –

not a consequence,

rather,

a decision…

you take from me all that you need –

leave hulls of hope scattered on the floor –

and i am just too weak from wanting more

to sweep,

or even care!

wanting to – remember

needing to – remember

yet unable to – remember…

(thoughts strewn random – uncollectable)

pleading,

desperately –

yet adamant.

the mind ,

however,

unyielding…

(uncontrolled chaos – borderline dementia)

memories collected –

haphazardly –

disorganized sanity…

(thin, the line between what is and what should be)

and standing guard –

the one called – father –

ageless sentinel

surveying all –

seeing –

nothing!