pensive –

hypocritically – contrite –

you stand alone,

a bastion of solitude in a sea of outstretched hands…

demure in your self-proclaimed in-culpability.

astonishingly – obtuse.

devoid of even a trace of empathy,

i watch as you bask in your

self-righteous piety –

seemingly unaware of the absurdity –

oblivious of your own flagrant nonentity!

this moment –

borrowed,

short –

precious…

it hangs on – briefly;

a breath held in anticipation –

skipped beat of a heart –

first babies cry…

awesome – don’t you think –

this journey called life?

it seems so many times –

we get caught up in the – want –

involved in expectation;

preoccupied with – when –

so much that we miss out on the – now…

my – is –

this – moment;

all i need,

and all i’m guaranteed –

you may choose another agenda –

fill your days,

your – moments –

with – what if…

but -i,

i choose – acceptance,

gratitude,

appreciation –

each breath –

each moment –

sweet gift of life –

amazing!

the place we sometimes journey to –

is much too dark to stay,

too far away for words,

more deep than sound –

profound as black on white,

or even still,

the very absence of light…

attempting once again to feel,

we dive head first into the –

nothing,

to somehow feel the splash –

of something…

as delicate as if,

more frail than why –

the sanity we seek to find,

evasive –

hides behind the clouds,

that clutter the skyline of our mind!

unable to lift the down –

struggling against the waves of doubt –

afraid to drown,

i avoid deep water,

wade instead in shallows –

seeking desperately some unseen shore…

fearful of losing footing –

stepping off the ledge

into a deeper pool of nothing.

what is it about you –

frightens me so?

your eyes –

liquid pools of hello –

invite me in –

outstretched hands offer close –

but all i do is pull away…

afraid today to take the plunge,

i struggle to stay afloat –

set adrift on stormy seas –

no calm of hope –

no rope of trust to moor this sinking ship –

tossed aside by

waves of discontent!

solitude –

precursor to loneliness.

disassociation of self –

from soul.

plunged head first –

into this desolation…

where do you turn to find

acceptance –

what price – the need?

compassion comes,

but not without cost.

smiles –

transparent,

masking pain –

unrealized.

abandon –

cruel nemesis to faith,

prevails –

hurt sustains!

and on this particular day –

in – just this same spot –

you –

i –

did engage in life;

day,

sun,

moon,

dawn – all shared experiences –

beneath the same sky…

holding here –

in these trembling hands –

(insecure most definitely wins over self-control),

all of the nothing,

even remotely – un-acceptable gift –

(when all you have to offer is less than sky,

too faint for blue…)

i have found –

over time –

that life – my life –

is not defined by the things that happen to me –

but more,

how i react to them.

i take a moment –

today –

wrap my brain around the inevitable truth:

life (the process),

is (unequivocally),

most –

awesome!

(there shall be no compromise!).

to be the somebody you want me to be,

i’d have to let go of the nobody i am…

to find my way up from the bottom of down,

requires more rope –

a stronger knot…

you –

my friend –

are not aware –

your disassociation creates grey –

space unfilled –

water much too deep to wade –

too wide to swim –

and your strong hands,

will not build a bridge…

all alone is too much sad –

the absence of touch,

a feeling i wish i never had…