i – in bondage

 
what i saw in you –
i needed to see in me,
and what i felt for you –
was what was missing from my life.
like a hand given –
but not taken,
a glance –
not returned…
desperation –
a weight – too heavy  for this heart to hold,
chains of bondage –
locked tight,
and you,
the key!

everything

i long to be – to you –
all that you have become –
to me…

that first sliver of sun at dawn,
or the twinkle of twilight’s
first star…

if only i could fill your world with wonderful,
exceptional –
smother you with fantastic,
awesomely – amazing…

if even for one solitary second
i could be
that which flows through your veins –
fills your heart –
gives you life.
how great the rush.
to be considered something so essential –
so necessary!

as much as air –
as incidental as day –
i long to be the impulse for your smile,
casual sigh,
the beat your heart skips…

everything to –
you –
to me –
you are…

addiction (for Philip Seymour Hoffman )

oh to be that breath of air
you take; essential as – must,
to have…
 
to enter into – the all of you –
to become as close,
as one –
to two…
 
if just for one moment –
to live in your thoughts –
feel the memories –
encounter your – you!
 
i would give a thousand
could of been’s –
for just one – is,
a lifetime of – life –
for a moment of – living…
 
oh how must it feel –
to  be the addiction,
and for once,
not the addict!

indifference revisited

unable –
sad word –
thrown carelessly into the wind…
 
inability –
chosen –
not a consequence,
rather,
a decision…
 
you take from me all that you need –
leave hulls of hope scattered on the floor –
and i am just too weak from wanting more
to sweep,
or even care!

fountain of you…

far deeper than any touch,
much more real,
than feel –

unlike whispers
fading into the air,
carried away too soon –
you are the – air!

all inclusive,
pervasive as nightfall –
you seep into every pore of my being,
filling every cavity of my soul!

i drink you in –
the thirst never satisfied,
and so i must return,
time and again,
to your most pensive fountain!

miles from ordinary

words unsaid –
touch un-felt –

promises, not made –
unbroken…

just how deep is too deep –
how real,
too real?

what is the penalty for touch –
instead of feel?

deep the water from your shore –
dark reservoir of intrigue –
and that safe room – behind your eyes –
illusive as – seems…

i would give a thousand – knows,
a million – haves –
for just one moment of your time –
(to understand, not assume!)

dreams – i weave –
realities – i conceive –
engulfed within the enigma of you…

ethereal –
you are to me –
miles from ordinary!

reflections: life before you

 
retrospect –
like chapters of a book –
already read –
scattered throughout,
blank pages…
 
no words,
no pictures,
no thoughts collecting –
memories.
 
where is it –
i have been?
what did i do,
or say –
who touched my life?
 
i find the time –
before you came –
unnecessary –
incomplete –
seemingly – non-existent,
as air you neither see –
nor feel.
as sound,
when non one’s listening!

heretic

 
i no longer subscribe –
to your Dogma!
disengaged,
unencumbered.
(birds alone truly understand freedom).
 
and stepping –
now –
i am –
out of the darkness.
chains of disbelief cast aside,
to your (imposed) insecurity –
no longer captive!
(spiders understand control).
 
and just as futile 
as clinging to a web
in a hurricane,
your attempts to lure me back into your trap,
effortlessly carried away
by winds of –
(my)
unconcern!

need to be

forever does not consume me –
that span of time i cannot comprehend.
i focus on the now,
this moment…

you invade my – now –
standing in the doorway,
allowing no escape…

and so inside this room of possibility i remain –
trapped –
yet unafraid…

you,
need to be in control –
i just need to be…

indulgence

 
in reference to how –
i’m more involved with why –
outcomes are the end result,
the process of thoughts – much more intriguing!
 
what brings one to the place
where reason fails –
what overtakes the mind in such a way
that impulsivity commands all actions?
 
i think that i will never understand
the way the smallest breath can
create the strongest current;
my mind cannot fathom the space
between your accept – my intent –
my indulgence merely pushes you away…
 
(trapped i am – no less than a moth to the flame… )