ice is forming –
on the windows –
now.
i hear the whistle of the wind –
its song,
so sad!

everywhere –
in cold secluded –
silence,
every-thing – captured
within grey!

no longer do the birds
in joyful chorus –
sing happily their songs,
their words lie frozen –
broken as the surface of the sky.

i touch the glass –
to wipe the discontent away –
to see if i may find you there –
peering in –
desperation eyes –
searching –
longing!

but i find only lonely shades of winter –
placid as the frozen sea –
of your indifference!

i cling to you like – spider webs –
you brush away!
i wrap myself inside your thoughts,
submerge myself within your silent eyes –
yet you don’t – see me,
don’t even – feel me…
how is it – my precious friend –
your life can be so – full,
so closed?
i take just so little room –
a hurried breath,
or thought,
or maybe just a simple – sigh!
please make some room for this scared dream –
or else – i die!

on a stage built for another day,
psycho’s dance like marionettes –
the only difference between them,
and sanity,
lies in the hands of the one holding the strings…

you speak to me –
words fragile as eggshells –
divert my attention,
momentarily,
from the lunatics i currently entertain.
and for a moment –
i am free!

why is it –
my friend –
you cannot let the anchor hold?
exciting – you are.
outbursts more intense than December lightening.
intensity – rivaled only by the sun.
but you choose,
to refrain.
drawn up deeper inside yourself than darkness to night,
you leave me alone to drift in your enigmatic currents.
cast-away,
mere ripples of memories in search of a shore.

and on this particular day –
in – just this same spot –
you –
i –
did engage in life;
day,
sun,
moon,
dawn – all shared experiences –
beneath the same sky…

holding here –
in these trembling hands –
(insecure most definitely wins over self-control),
all of the nothing,
even remotely – un-acceptable gift –
(when all you have to offer is less than sky,
too faint for blue…)

i have found –
over time –
that life – my life –
is not defined by the things that happen to me –
but more,
how i react to them.

i take a moment –
today –
wrap my brain around the inevitable truth:
life (the process),
is (unequivocally),
most –
awesome!
(there shall be no compromise!).

anxious permeates the room –

when you walk in.

a storm in liberation –

intriguing,

as much as darkness feels about light…

evasive –

you –

escaping into – might.

no matter how hard I will you back to – is.

acutely aware of the risk,

am I –

yet unable to resist!

palliative –

you have become.

to my addiction,

oh-so-eager to

assist…

i long to be the – oh –
the – wow –
exhilarating gasp of – awe,
in an otherwise quiet room!

to be that –
suspect,
that –
even remotely – considered.

to be –
consumed –
as breath –
entering in –
and back out again.
unassuming,
yet essential –
inasmuch as believe,
to dream…

you are that –
deity –
on which i hang
(effortlessly)
my hope.
demagogue to champion compassion.
and i –
your willing martyr!

upon cutting the strings….

in reference to how –
i’m more involved with why –
outcomes are the end result,
the process of thoughts – much more intriguing!

what brings one to the place
where reason fails –
what overtakes the mind in such a way
that impulsivity commands all actions?

i think that i will never understand
the way the smallest breath can
create the strongest current;
my mind cannot fathom the space
between your accept – my intent –
my indulgence merely pushes you away…

(trapped i am – no less than a moth to the flame…)

sing a song of six pence –
pocket full of –
why?
nursery rhymes – forgotten –
(innocence and nonchalance went missing).

on the under – side of hope;
beneath the spangled starry sky,
on the ledge –
precariously balanced –
anxious,
animated…
(marionettes dance –
unaware of the importance of – strings -).

tied to you –
i am!
to life and death and why and why not…

alabaster dedications –
engraved with –
when and why and what for.
the soul –
however –
un-contained within the stone…
(birds alone know heaven).

unable to lift the down –
struggling against the waves of doubt –
afraid to drown,
i avoid deep water,
wade instead in shallows –
seeking desperately some unseen shore…

fearful of losing footing –
stepping off the ledge
into a deeper pool of nothing.

what is it about you –
frightens me so?
your eyes –
liquid pools of hello –
invite me in –
outstretched hands offer close –
but all i do is pull away…

afraid today to take the plunge,
i struggle to stay afloat –
set adrift on stormy seas –
no calm of hope –
no rope of trust to moor this sinking ship –
tossed aside by
waves of discontent!